it isn't hunger.



it isn't hunger. food mention stories
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twilighteve
twilighteve semi-functional writer and human being
Autoplay OFF   •   a year ago
at one point you wonder if you have eating disorder. but eating disorders are for youtubers who overshare their experiences and celebgrams with tearful success stories. it's not for you. this isn't hunger. (it really is.)

it isn't hunger.

you walk into the kitchen and see things you can eat to stave off the thing in your stomach

you walk into the kitchen and see things you can eat to stave off the thing in your stomach and you realize you'll leave trash behind

you walk into the kitchen and see things you can eat to stave off the thing in your stomach and you realize you'll leave trash behind and you don't want that,

you walk into the kitchen and see things you can eat to stave off the thing in your stomach and you realize you'll leave trash behind and you don't want that, so you turn away.

you try to take cookies or biscuit or crackers,

you try to take cookies or biscuit or crackers, but the sound would be so grating you realize people will hear,

you try to take cookies or biscuit or crackers, but the sound would be so grating you realize people will hear, and you don't want that,

you try to take cookies or biscuit or crackers, but the sound would be so grating you realize people will hear, and you don't want that, so you turn away.

at one point you wonder if taking what your dog eats will help,

at one point you wonder if taking what your dog eats will help, but the thought fills you up with shame

at one point you wonder if taking what your dog eats will help, but the thought fills you up with shame so you shut that thought up before it blooms

at one point you wonder if taking what your dog eats will help, but the thought fills you up with shame so you shut that thought up before it blooms and you turn away.

the gnawing in your stomach is an old friend

the gnawing in your stomach is an old friend and the headache is so constant the absence of it is no longer normalcy but a luxury

the gnawing in your stomach is an old friend and the headache is so constant the absence of it is no longer normalcy but a luxury when you eat they all taunt you until your appetite disappear

the gnawing in your stomach is an old friend and the headache is so constant the absence of it is no longer normalcy but a luxury when you eat they all taunt you until your appetite disappear it's a constant noise in your life.

the gnawing in your stomach is an old friend and the headache is so constant the absence of it is no longer normalcy but a luxury when you eat they all taunt you until your appetite disappear it's a constant noise in your life. you're used to it.

the tears in your eyes has long since dried

the tears in your eyes has long since dried all you want to do is sleep because you don't have energy to do anything else.

the tears in your eyes has long since dried all you want to do is sleep because you don't have energy to do anything else. people tell you you're lazy.

the tears in your eyes has long since dried all you want to do is sleep because you don't have energy to do anything else. people tell you you're lazy. maybe you are.

but it doesn't matter because when you keep small and bony they stopped taunting you

but it doesn't matter because when you keep small and bony they stopped taunting you and began praising instead.

in the end the effort of getting something to eat and hiding the evidence is just too much

in the end the effort of getting something to eat and hiding the evidence is just too much and it's easier to not eat altogether.

in the end the effort of getting something to eat and hiding the evidence is just too much and it's easier to not eat altogether. it's not hunger, you convince yourself while pushing away the guilt at the thought of children who would kill for half of what you have.

it's not hunger.

it's not hunger. it's an old friend.

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