Madness
Madness adulting stories
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turtling
turtlingcigarettes, coffee, chaos and cuss words
Autoplay OFF  •  6 months ago
adulting


**quote from the start is from Sabrina Benaim's 'Explaning my Depression to My Mother (A Conversation)'
**picture taken in Zaandvort aan Zee in Netherlands
**yes that's me

Madness

"Sleepwalking in an ocean of happiness I cannot baptize myself in."

I lost myself.

I don't know how.

I don't know why.

It's just... One day, I woke up.

And I was gone.

When I look into the mirror, I don't recognise the face looking back at me.

Who is this sad-looking creature with bags under her eyes and disheveled hair?

Where is the smile that has been plastered on my face as long as I could remember?

The world has squeezed the life out of me.

Cunning. I didn't even feel it siphoning every bit of me.

Until I was left with nothing.

My slumped shoulders and tired limbs are constant reminders that I am not who I was.

I want me back.

I am not the same.

I thought I was stronger than this.

I wanted to fight

I wanted to fight and survive

I wanted to fight and survive and live.

My dreams have flown away leaving an empty husk behind.

Where did I go wrong?

Is it too late?

Am I too late?

Can I start over?

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