Once upon a time a stick ruled the earth. It was held by a boy, and he guarded the seas with it.
He constantly paced up and down the raw strewn beach shooing away smokers and revelers and litterers and mostly everyone else taller than him who had no idea who Greta was when he asked them in all seriousness.
"I forbid you for your ignorance," he would tell them, his eyes locked on those who fail his test.
And when they ignored him, he swished the stick and the earth revealed itself, horrifying them with the consequences of their complacency.