Fuck, Fuck, that thing is coming closer and closer. Don't cry, don't cry, I said as tears ran down my cheeks; the saltiness from the tears gradually turned my mouth into a desert
My constant breathing became more sudden and heavier. I said to myself a million times to never look back, but I did; It still follows me.
Why won't it stop?!; No matter where I go it follows; even in my dreams it still follows.
Why must I be bestowed with this horrible fate? I noticed my crinkled red shirt wasn't just red because of the dye; there was blood on my shirt.
The immense heat from my chest was beginning to drive me insane, and my legs feel likes deteriorating.
There's a colossal wound on my right leg; the flesh was exposed and gushed whenever I took a step. The black cargo shorts I wore and my dark skin intensified the heat from the desert.
What a shitty fate to be in I thought to myself; running away instinctively from this dark thick smog; never knowing when to stop.
Sigh, I wish to surrender to this constant agony, but I shall not. Death screams in my head over and over, when I think about it.
I do not want to die; I wish to see the eyes of my child become a woman and my wife's smile. I see a market northeast, so I change direction.
The brown sandals I'm wearing were starting to break, and my legs were numb to the bone. It hurts, IT FUCKING HURTS.
The more steps I take the more agony there was; the sheer agony was driving me insane. My vision began to go through rollercoasters; sometimes it was clear, sometimes I was practically blind.
The keys dangling in my pockets were ringing my ears; I could barely hear my footsteps.
I steadily and painfully arrive at the market, and I glowed; THERE were PEOPLE. I stopped running and let the tears of joy run down my cheeks; I'm saved.
The thought vanished when I remembered it wasn't over yet. I noticed all of them were white, ugh that brings bad memories; my head feels like splitting apart whenever I think about it.
I shake it off and said very quietly "Can-." I swallowed my saliva and licked my dry lips. I take a deep breath and say, "Can someone help me?" in a quivering voice.
All faces snapped towards me in one motion; sending a shiver down my spine; how inhuman I thought.
I shouted, "Can someone please, PLEASE, help me?" The atmosphere remained thick and heavy; silence was the action I'm given.
How infuriating I thought as I clenched my fist; they remained stone-faced with the eyes of disdain.
Why is it always like this? I bit my lip and said as loudly as I can "CAN SOMEONE FUCKING HELP ME PLEASE!?" Silence, fucking silence. I took a deep breath and walked up slowly towards a person.
I said "Can you p-" everyone turned their backs on me and ran. They fucking ran. My heart dropped; "please, please, PLEASE, come back" I say as numerous tears ran down my cheeks.
It was no use, they were gone. The atmosphere and pressure felt heavy, causing me to fall to my knees.
The pain from my heart hurts more than the pain from my legs; this pain hurts more than death itself. "Why, WHY ALWAYS ME?!" I said to myself while punching the ground repeatedly.
The black smog came faster than before. "STUPID FUCKING FATE," I said to myself as more and more tears fell.
My mind dwelled in horrible memories of the past; REJECTION, REJECTION, REJECTION, REJECTION, REJECTION.
"SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!" I screamed while trying to tear my head into two pieces with my bare hands. The black smog was ten meters away.
I was lost in the pain of my heart, but then I remembered...
... "Daddy, Daddy, did you get the job?" my daughter said.
She was so cute wearing her pink pajamas, and her big brown eyes glowed with curiosity.
It took me about ten seconds to answer that question; should I lie or not? This happened too many times, but in the end, I said: "No, I didn't.
" Man, I was depressed; I wanted a cigarette to relieve my stress.
"Daddy don't ever give up. "
I looked down into her deep brown eyes.
"Don't let the rejections get in your head; me and mom believe one day, we will find acceptance in this cruel society."
I could barely hear what she said because of the heavy rain, but I understood her...
I will not succumb. I could feel the pressure from the smog; it was inches away from me. I try to dash, but my bottom half wasn't moving. MOVE, MOVE, MOVE. The pressure became heavier.
Shit, SHIT, SHIT! It's coming closer. My eyes scrambled in fear.
So many thoughts went in my head; Will I die?! How can I get out of this situation?! Is this the end?
! Suddenly, my mind went blank; I could no longer think nor feel the flame that resides in my heart. I sank deep into the ocean of apprehension; I will die I thought.
Blood from my lips began to fall into my open wound; I smiled. No, I will not. I whip out my keys and fiercely stabbed my open wound. "AHH" I screamed at the top of my lungs.
Flesh and blood exploded. My vision was damping, but I felt my legs; in general, I felt alive. Tears of sorrow, perseverance, and happiness sheds. I will not die.
The smog was inches away from me, so I whipped back and burst to oblivion. Holy shit it hurts so much, but I kept on running.
I maneuvered around the obstacles that were in my way; jumping, sliding, and parkouring. Gradually, my wound widens from the actions; felt like someone was trying to rip my leg apart.
My heart was pounding, and my mind was straight. Panting, gasping for precious air. While I was maneuvering around, I saw a black baby; he was crying and whimpering.
He was wrapped with a white blanket and had brown almond eyes.
"MOMMY, MOMMY" he cries.
I could no longer hear anything except the boy's howls. The only thing I felt was the presence of me and him. I stopped and stared at the boy. He continues crying while in the bright light.
Why is it, this world is so cruel?...
"Mommy, Mommy, where are you mom?" I cried. I could hardly breathe, and my chest felt heavy as if the world gave me a disadvantage. It was cold; it was showering.
I used both of my hands to wipe my tears, yet it was impossible to extinguish it. Many people passed by me, not giving a fuck about me; I was to them, a thing.
Out of desperation, I tugged a stranger's coat and said, "Can you help me please?" I looked up and saw his face; he had the expression of a monster; he was truly inhuman.
He pushed me to the ground and said, "get lost." He disappeared into the crowd.
I was on the ground soaking wet; I looked up and saw numerous people walking past me. I sat there unnoticed; do I even exist? Do I even matter? The rain became heavier.
As more people came by, I began to realize that I wasn't cold because of the rain; I was cold because of reality. Yet so fucking close I was to them; I remained distant...
There I was, looking at him. He was still crying in the hope of his mother to come back. He was me; I was him. We are the victims in society, or so we thought.
No, I'm not going to let him suffer as I did. I will protect his future; no man should ever feel this horrible feeling. And so I did, I picked up him and ran. You bet I ran as fast I can.
I appeared slow; chained to the ground by the rules. That doesn't mean I will succumb; I can prevail. He was darn heavy, but in the end, I didn't care.
We need to have each other's backs someday. We will vanquish the darkness in this society together. I ran and ran and ran and ran. When will it be over? When will it end? Must, not give up.
I saw a church, so I dashed towards it; I went inside, and I saw people; White people. They all stared at me like I wasn't allowed in here.
I emptied my throat and said, "Please help me, PLEASE!" The smog was at the doorstep. They all looked at the smog then at me.
The pressure was heavy like it was all led to this one moment; where I was decided by their choices. There was silence for ten seconds, then a person in front of me reached in his pocket.
I stared at his skinny pale white hand when he reached in for the pistol. He wrapped the pistol's handle with a white handkerchief and gestured an offer. I stared at it.
Then I looked back and saw the smog transformed to me; a reflection. My hands were quivering; struggling to take the gun. I pointed at me.
I was shaking; why am I so scared? Why am I afraid? Sweat went off my forehead. The people in the church start chanting to kill it.
"KILL IT, KILL IT, KILL IT," they said repetitively.
It came closer and I said in a quivering voice, "Don't come closer!" He came closer, and I shot. He dispersed. There was no black smog anymore nor him.
What have I done, I'm a murderer; he didn't come closer, he backed away. I became one of them.