Love
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tinyolive22
tinyolive22 Going through the motions.
Autoplay OFF   •   2 years ago
Just your stereotypical dream that gives us all false life expectations

Love

That second you know

Vision white with fuzzy snow

Falling

Feeling

Wondering if they even know you're there

On a universe of

Isolation

Stirring in your chest when you see

Just how easily

They walk

They talk

They laugh with you

Wishing

They could know you

Love you

Hold you in their arms and

Never

 Let

 You go

Bags

Under your eyes

From lying awake

Thinking

Breaking slowly

Because they do not know

That you

Exist.

Trying

To ignore

The pain

That comes

From love.

Trying

Hoping

Something will change

Trying

Lying

When asked how you've been

Finding

Discovering

The pain one person can bring

No knives

No spears

Just the fact that you exist

Makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time

Watching

Learning

How smart you are

How fit

How funny

How perfect

How heartbreaking

I'm tracing the glass as it fogs

In an image of your love

A broken heart

Fading back to bleak

As a single tear makes its way down my cheek.

Listening to the silence

Overwhelming my ears

As you lie home with a cold

Hoping your words will reach me even here.

Pondering the absence

Of that perfect smiling

Face

That can heal

Help

Hurt

Anybody

Looking into

Your innocent eyes

And

Knowing

You can never know

I know

How you feel

I don't need you to tell me

Just a friend

It echoes

Over

And

Over

In my head

Just a friend

As I fall asleep

Just a friend

I know is what you'd tell me

You'd grow distant and cold

Shamed and weird

I do not deserve

Your pity

To trouble that perfect mind

It would mean goodbye

That buzzing in my ears

When you say my name

That joy in my heart

When you laugh

And your smile

No words in the English language dare compete

My heart is broken

Hearing

Seeing you every day

This way.

Every word

Straight down to my soul

Straight down to

My heart

Cracks my mind

Try to forget about you

Talk with friends

Watch a movie

Go to a party

But everywhere I look

I see you

You laughing at my jokes

You buying popcorn

You drinking punch

You

In my head

24/7

Constantly

I try

To move on

Someone talks to me at lunch

Feel nothing

Hottest person in school smiles

Feel nothing

But an aching desire

For it to be you

For it to be you who leaves your spot in the middle to talk to me

I

Would come

To you

But I'm too afraid

To

Try.

Walking

Down the street

Earbuds in hand

Trailing up my neck

Face burning

Drowning my feeling

In

Depressing

Music

I hate you

But I love you

I hate that I love you

I hear it play in my head

You want her

You need her

And I'll

Never

Be her

Tears again

More this time

Sobbing

Down on the ground

A hill

A beautiful hill

Flowers

Grass

Trees

And

Bushes

Meaningless without

You

I need you

To live

To breathe

I'd die for you

But

Even worse,

I'd live for you

Not would mean

A life of

Emptiness

Broken with

Despair

Watching you with another

With a house

A spouse

A child

I can't

I could try

But I can't

You are my existence

My life

My soulmate

But while you are mine

I will never be yours

You asked me today

What was wrong

Why

I was being so

Pale

Quiet

Tired

Waved my hand

Blamed homework

If only you knew

I would never

Forgive myself

For making you feel bad

That you cannot return it

That I

Am not for you

That you

Will never love me

The way

I love you.

I do

I love you

I love you more

Than I should

I love you more

Than is good

Why are

The fates so cruel

As to put me in a one-sided love

Like this

Of which I will never

Leave

Finished

Done

I wish

I could feel those lips

On mine

Wiping away my doubt

And shame.

Tomorrow

The dance

I probably won't go

You will

You go to every one

I don't

I do not want to see you with someone else

Other than

Me.

Behind the school

I was walking back and

You were too

You bit your lip

Took a deep breath

Say something

I understand

But I don't

My brain refuses

To comprehend what

You

Just

Said

Did you

Ask me

What I think you did

You're nervous

And then something clicks

You asked me to the dance

I open my mouth

He stops me

"I love you"

He says

"I really do"

My eyes are wide

Wet

With tears

Of joy

"I love you too"

I choke out

His face filled with joy as he

Puts his arms

Around me

And kisses me

Into

Oblivion.

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