I hate that I need someone to make me happy, but I'm too lonely to care
I hate that I need someone to make me happy, but I'm too lonely to care

@tinyolive22 moody stories
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tinyolive22
tinyolive22 Going through the motions.
Autoplay OFF   •   2 years ago
When you lose all hope, write a poem.

I hate that I need someone to make me happy, but I'm too lonely to care

I hate that I need someone to make me happy

I hate the game I have to play

I hate the lying

The cheating too

The bitterness

When I think of you

I hate that I need someone to make me feel wanted

Like my family and I are not enough

It's not that I don't love myself

But over and over again, I catch myself in the same bluff.

I think what I'm trying to say

Is that I may need you tomorrow 

Or even today

And then you'll leave

I'll wake up from my dream

And go back to three A.M

Writing on this very screen.

I've never been taken

But I don't really feel single

I dream too much for that

In my head I'm loved

Outside I'm shunned

And I really don't agree with that.

I hate that I can't make myself happy

No matter how hard I try

I always find myself in the same position

Trying not to cry 

In my room

On the bed

Huddled up

Of course

With my arms wrapped around my head

Because suddenly I'll crave what I've never had

His arm around my back

His smile pointed my way

His cologne drugging me as he holds me close

Almost having a heart attack when his lips brush mine

Because I'm alone

A single pringle

Fries before guys

And sure

I know it's not all glamour

But the hard parts make it worth it

And I'm too lonely to care

This isn't a poem

This isn't a rant 

This wasn't requested by a random fan.

I don't even care who reads this

You don't know me

I don't know you 

For all I know

You're a 40 year old man in the basement with a lisp.

But apparently it makes me feel better

Declaring my solitude to the world.

It's like some messed up drug 

Making you feel better

And then the world becomes even more cold.

I hate myself when I get like this

So whiny and sad and craving cake

But I hate him more

The guy in the corner of the viewing stand for the falls

With his arms around the girl he loves

He forgets himself and the worlds troubles

No matter how loud you yell at him to wake up

It's not hate

It's jealously

What am I doing wrong

Why can't I have that too?

And this really is a crappy poem

But honestly at this point

I'm too lonely to care

I just hate that I need somebody to make me happy

And whenever I call

He's never there.

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