I am full of mistakes,
Addictions and secrets,
and the little idiosyncrasies that make up the chemical makeup that makes me me.
These gated walls that I keep,
The darkness inside me,
with the pain and guilt I feel,
Will it ever go away,
Weighing me down to the ground.
These secrets make me afraid of what I will become or what people will think of me.
I know that we are not perfect,
To not be perfect is to be human,
But the feeling of regrets and what should have been cloud my mind sometimes.
The feeling of weakness binds me to my reality and keeps me awake at night.
I know my faith is not strong,
Somewhere down the path I strayed from my walk.
But it seems like it’s a never ending road back to God sometimes.
My sins and addictions lead me more astray.
In the day I’m fine but at night my body attacks me from the inside with a choice of whether to follow the straight and narrow or my own destruction and most of the time I choose the latter.