I wonder if you know, how much it hurts- how much it hurts to know that in your eyes I am not perfect.
I wonder if you know how much I wish I didn't have to be like this- that my body wasn't like this.
I wonder if you know how hard I try to be like you want me to be.
And fail everytime.
My hearts breaks a little every time.
And every time I bandage it up. I put it over every break- over every crack- over every missing piece.
But it doesn't heal.
It's always there- a painful reminder of who I can never be.
I wonder if you know that sometimes I feel lonely. That sometimes, when I stop to breath, I am disappointed with myself.
I wonder if you know how much your words hurt me.
I smile to hide my feelings from myself. I cry in secret. I try to be strong. I whisper to myself: "I'm okay."
But am I?
Sometimes I just wish that you'd listen to me for once in your life and not critisice me for my failures and stumbles.
Is that too hard?
You can hurt me physically: the pain soon will disappear. But your words hurt me inside. They never disappear. I try to forgive. I try to move on. But I hurt.
Can't you see?