My car reved, breaking through the silence betweeen my mom, little sister, best friend and I. We had been on the road for a while now, driving to the mountains for a ski trip together.
My mom hated the music that I liked so the music was turned off all the way. My best friend and I were in a fight at the moment, so he was too angry to talk.
Shelly, my six year old sister, sat in the back with my best friend, Joe.
You would think that a six year old would be excited to get out of the house and go on a trip, instead Shelly sat there staring out the window, replicating my mom.
Shelly hated driving because it meant a lot of people in a small space talking, having conversations she couldn't listen too.
She probably was happy that nobody was talking, not that she would be able to tell. My baby sister had been in a car accident with my now dead father when she was just a baby.
They said it was a miracle that she survived with only deafness to both ears. I wonder if she cries herself to sleep, only being able to feel them falling down her rosy cheeks.
I bet Shelly sometimes wishes that she could hear the words and voices of those she loved, to hear the music that I had always wrote to her about.
I make sure that I am her ears, helping her understand the sounds through words.
I hope that one day Shelly will become a writer, because of her ears she was able to pick up reading in such a fabulous way, that even I don't understand how she managed to learn.
Joe and I met during the death of my father, the time of the accident. He stood by me and helped me through that time. He was a great man, I wished that we could be friends forever.
I hated this fight, it was so silly. I glanced at the road before me, a painted Xmark stared back at me. Man, I thought, my life is pretty horrible.
Deaths, disabilities, fights, all horrible things that happened. An old rusty train rounded the corner of my eye. I started to slow, debating if I should stop or accelerate.
The car on the other side of the tracks shot forward to cross the tracks. What happened next was if I were in a slow motion movie.
The car jumped when it hit the tracks, flying through the air at an angle.
At full speed it barrelled towards me, struggling to gain control as it made contact with the ground, barely inches away from my car.
It's front end slammed into my door, my leg smushed with metal. Air bags burst from their hold. The screeching of metal, the sound of tires skidding, it was all so loud.
It made thinking difficult. The car spun fast, thrashing our bodies to the side.
My head smashed into the window, but I felt nothing, I saw everything but it was all too far away to comprehend.
I looked back at Shelly in that moment. Her eyes were wide with fear, as if the memories as a baby were apprehensive. Her hands clutched her seat belt for reassurance, for any kind of support.
I memorized her features on her face.
Her bright baby blue eyes, plump rosy cheeks, and her long and thick eyelashes. The softness rolled off of her, masking her fear.
I held onto her image as the rest of the world faded away with darkness.