Suicidal Love
Suicidal Love  romance stories
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tdog16
tdog1614 and excited!
Autoplay OFF  •  7 months ago
He had put my needs before his. He was dying inside but still he helped me first. *** Life is full of horrible things and when you let it take over you, bad things happen. ***Okay so I know that this is really bad...I will try to write another version of this, but better... sometime.

Suicidal Love

by tdog16

My vision was blurry with tears.

My body trembling, my heart numb. My breaths were shaky. My lungs suffocated by the cold winter air. My body has goosebumps but I ignored the temperature. I had more to worry about.

"It's going to be okay" someone tried to comfort me.

They didn't understand. It wasn't okay. I glanced up through wet eyes looking at the blurry black box before me. Red roses lined around the dug out hole waiting to eat its meal.

Red roses lay to represent our love.

But to me it meant blood shed. The countless times spent cutting or the horrible thing that I call death, or rather suicide.

"You will be fine" the calming voice whispered again.

I wanted to scream at the person. They didn't know me, they weren't me they didn't know how I felt.

I felt so guilty, the weight was wearing me down.

I felt destroyed. I felt as if a piece of me was missing. I felt numb as if not knowing life's purpose. I couldn't think straight and it hurt to breath.

"It's okay" the voice tried again.

It wasn't okay, he was gone, couldn't they see that. It was all my fault. I am so stupid. I'm a horrible person.

He told me every night his pain.

He told me how the demons couldn't stay away. But I was so blinded by happiness. I loved him. I thought I was helping him. I thought he was going to be okay.

I KNEW that he wouldn't die on me.

But now look where I am. If only I had seen past good and into the horror that wrecked his life. I could have helped him, I could have saved him.

I just ignored him and said that it would get better.

I lied to myself, hoping that the words were true. He sat by my side, warming my heart while his darkened with pain and bottled up secrets. He tried to get help, he tried to get help from me.

I should have listened to him.

I should have seen how much pain he harnessed. How much he hated his life. I should have seen the evil that was in the world. I was a fool for thinking that the world was perfect.

His life destroyed him.

And now he destroyed me. But it wasn't his fault nor was it mine.

It was just the world doing as it pleased.

It was just life.

He had put my needs before his.

He had come to my house with chocolates, just to make me smile. He would be my date for a silly dance that we both hated. He was dying inside but still he helped me first.

And when the time came where he needed my help,

I wasn't there.

He opened up in hopes of surviving.

He told me just so that I could save him, but I didn't.

I regretted everything.

He was my best friend yet I let him kill himself. He was like a brother to me, and now I will never get to say goodbye, to tell him that I love him.

A bitter taste seeps into my mouth.

My throat contracts making it harder to breath. I claw at my neck viciously. The emotions creep in my throat.

Slowly I close my tear filled eyes as the coffin is lowered down into the ground. Down he goes with my heart. Down he goes with my life.

When he died I died with him.

A sob escapes my mouth, freeing my emotions. I love him and he loved me. We will forever be bounded by soul. In this love of ours, we die together.

This is our love.

Our suicidal love.

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tdog16Gifted Writer14 and excited!
5 months agoReply
@raincascade thank you 😊

raincascadeBronze CommaYou Make Beautiful Things
5 months agoReply
Hey great imagery in this! I was really able to visualize him being lowered and the narrator being so distraught. I loved the concept of the story and the rhythmic flow of a short piece and then a longer piece. Very depressing, yet powerful. Keep writing!

navynohwal30Gifted Writer♏️ & Rêver
7 months agoReply
great work! amazingly crafted! gave me goose bumps!

tdog16Gifted Writer14 and excited!
7 months agoReply
@bernardtwindwil I do get what you are saying, and I really appreciate what you are trying to do. Thank you so much! I'm really glad you like my stories!

bernardtwindwilGold CommaGranddad & story teller, tomthepo8.com
7 months agoReply
@tdog16 The cliche of commaful is the poems/posts that are, "Woe is me. I am an introvert. I loved you. You said you loved me. You left or found someone else with a better attitude. You destroyed me. I'll never be the same. I'll always love you. I will never love again." I am sure you see at least five posts a day like this. I hope you understand what I am trying to say. Your post was sad but not maudlin. The writing was in the first person but wasn't filled with self-pity. I am in the process of finding some online resources for you . I am so impressed by your talent.

tdog16Gifted Writer14 and excited!
7 months agoReply
@abigaildaizana thank you so much 😊 @bernardtwindwil thank you but I'm not sure what you mean by the cliche of commaful? I must have accidentally did it because as you can tell I really have no clue what it is?!

7 months agoReply
WOW! That was nice and sad

7 months agoReply
WOW! That was nice and sad

bernardtwindwilGold CommaGranddad & story teller, tomthepo8.com
7 months agoReply
This was written in the plaintive voice of the second person POV. As such, you described scene after scene poignantly and compelling. You have a surfeit of talent. Your enthusiasm for writing is stunning. I loved the way you tried to avoid the cliches of commaful in your design of this piece. You will gain the skill and vocabulary as you progress. The important component is to write, write, and then write some more. Great post!!!