Never buy girl scout cookies from a one-legged prostitute.
Never eat nachos while sitting on the can.
Always lick it BEFORE you stick it.
Never EVER whiz on an electric fence.
Always-ALWAYS!-keep the door to your outhouse closed.
When you let out a fart ALWAYS blame the person next to you.
Never whip "it" out on the first date. (That's just rude!)
Try NOT to pick up women at the family reunion.
Always be appreciative if you're getting some all the time.
Never choke your chicken while spanking your monkey.
When time-traveling try to keep your mom OUT of your pants.
Make sure that hot chick you're tonguing is NOT your sister.
And, if you got man boobs, PLEASE put on a damn shirt!