Why I'm SICK Of Zombies!
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tbanarchyI am a snarky freelance writer.
Autoplay OFF  •  a month ago

Why I'm SICK Of Zombies!

by tbanarchy

Today zombies are all over the place. (Not literally!)

We have The Walking Dead, Fear The Walking Dead, Bang The Walking Dead. You get the picture. There's even a show called Talking Dead TALKING about these zombie shows, for crying out loud!

Hell, there's even zombie porn out now!

Let me repeat: THERE'S ACTUAL ZOMBIE SMUT! I don't think I need to elaborate on THIS one, do I? I didn't think so! (If you need further, uh-hum, elaboration on this, Google it! If you DARE!)

That's why I feel all zombied out.

A few years ago vampires were all the rage, especially with the Twilight films. Maybe there can be a Twilight/Walking Dead "crossover" where that Negan beats the shit out of that sparkly vampire.

There are even those predicting a zombie apocalypse.

However, there's just ONE "problem" with that "prediction": ZOMBIES AREN'T REAL! Though, to be "fair" to the conspiracy theorists, there ARE diseases that can put people in a "zombie-like" state.

But they're still NOT zombies!

Of course, some have "theorized" that one of these viruses could mutate into some sort of zombie virus. But bird flu will probably take us out long before THAT happens, you know what I mean?

But going back to zombie entertainment . . .

I will admit to being a fan of the "classic" zombie flick Night Of The Living Dead (the original, NOT the crappy remake!). But Hollywood zombies HAVEN'T changed much since that film.

There was a film titled Vampires vs. Zombies.

But the title of that film was changed to Camilla, the Lesbian Vampire. (Nice change!) Hey, maybe they should have lesbian zombies? That would probably get me to, uh-hum, enjoy zombies more!

Yeah, I know, I'm a TOTAL perv!

Just NOT an "undead" perv! Hey, that could be a NEW zombie show: Perv The Walking Dead! Who's WITH me? Let's see Chris Hardwick do a "talking" show about THAT (though he WOULD probably do it!)!

There is ONE silver lining in all of this . . .

At least we know clowns will NEVER be as "beloved" as zombies and/or vampires. Seriously, most people think clowns are just too damn creepy, am I right, people? (Bozo & Krusty NOT included!)

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tbanarchyI am a snarky freelance writer.
a month agoReply
@sydney Yep. Though, to be fair, there's also vampire smut. And, no, I'm NOT talking about the Twilight flicks! (Ba-da-boom!)

sydneyverifiedco-creator of Commaful
a month agoReply
there's Zombie smut? whoaa hahhaa

tbanarchyI am a snarky freelance writer.
a month agoReply
@bernardtwindwil I didn't put this in my post but there was a show a few years ago called Deadliest Warrior which had hypothetical battles between different "warriors" to see who won. In one episode, they pitted vampires against zombies. As I recall, they had the zombies win due to their sheer number and the fact that they were "undead". That was one of the few times I found zombies interesting.

tbanarchyI am a snarky freelance writer.
a month agoReply
@bryanthomas "Night Of The Sparkly Dead"? Uh, no thanks. Just like with sparkly vamps, I think I'll pass! :)

bernardtwindwilGranddad & story teller, tomthepo8.com
a month agoReply
I loved this. I despise these vampire-zombies axis. How do you kill something that is already dead. What is the personality development? Great post!!!!!!

bryanthomasIn my spare time I juggle fog.
a month agoReply
Bring on the sparkly zombies! ;o)