Whatever Happened To "Sexy" Ads?
Whatever Happened To "Sexy" Ads? advertisement stories
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tbanarchy
tbanarchy Sometimes serious, mostly snarky author.
Autoplay OFF   •   7 months ago
I got your "sexy" right HERE!

Whatever Happened To "Sexy" Ads?

by tbanarchy

The late comedian Bill Hicks once described the type of ad advertisers WISH they could make.

It would show a fully-naked woman sitting spead-eagled with two fingers on her hoo-hah with the caption that reads: "Drink Coke!"

As Bill Hicks said, after seeing THAT ad, I'm drinking A LOT of fucking Coke!

it wasn't THAT long ago when advertisers put out a slew of "sexy" ads; like, for instance, those Carl's Jr. ads that showed hot chicks eating burgers suggestively.

Mmmm, hot chicks eating burgers suggestively!

A couple of years ago CJ stopped putting out those so-called "slutburger" ads since advertisers nowadays try to "out-woke" themselves.

Which, of course, has led to some VERY dimwitted ad campaigns like Gillette's by-now-infamous "anti-toxic masculinity" ad (which, of course, I gave my, uh-hum, opinion about before).

Carl's Jr. tried to show their newfound "wokeness" by having an ad featuring a female comdian named Celeste Barber with a more "realistic" body type "spoofing" their old SEXY ads.

So, to prove their "wokeness", Carl's Jr. put out an ad that BOTH "fat-shames" AND "slut-shames"? Because, you know, "woke"!

This reminds me of when Janet Jackson's top got "accidentally" ripped off by Justin Timberlake during the 2004 Super Bowl Halftime Show and EVERYONE lost their collective shit over it even though you couldn't see anything (damn it!).

Everything that was even remotely "sexual" was either censored or banned outright for a time just like now. And then things went back to "normal" once the heat died down.

The bottom line is, companies like Carl's Jr. aren't really "woke" as they're run by the SAME people who greenlit those "sexy" burger ads.

These companies are intended to make a PROFIT even though "woke" ads more-often-than-not DON'T make money for these companies.

Of course, these "woke" ads are probably put out to placate the Twitter mob like just about everything ELSE in this country nowadays.

I mean, could you just imagine the "reaction" from said Twatter mob if Carl's Jr. or anyone else put out an ad showing some scantily-clad babe shoving a big slab of meat right into her face?

Mmmm, scantily-clad babes shoving big slabs of meat right into their faces!

I mean, which would YOU rather see: An ad lecturing about the "wage gap" or an ad showing a scantily-clad hot chick like a Paris Hilton or a Kate Upton shoving meat into their faces?

I know which one I'd MUCH rather see!

Of course, we all know male celebrities would NEVER be "objectified" in ads like THIS!

Oh, wait a sec . . .

But, speaking strictly for myself, I know I'd like to eat A LOT of fucking burgers for some reason!

I also wouldn't mind putting my face right into into that . . . salad!

R.I.P, Bill!

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