Sh!t That Make Me "Distracted"
Sh!t That Make Me "Distracted" distracted stories

tbanarchy Sometimes serious, mostly snarky author.
Autoplay OFF   •   a year ago

Sh!t That Make Me "Distracted"

by tbanarchy

A plumber's ass crack.

Chicks with hairy armpits.

Dudes who play with their man boobs.

People who do THIS.

Dudes who like to point out how big their crotch bulges are.

Whatever the blessed hell THIS is.

People who WON'T stop playing with their balls.


Grandmas who give me The Bird.

Chicks with, er, sticks!

Walking in on someone while they're trying to bleach their anus.

Walking into a restaurant full of pictures of animal anuses.

People who won't stop talking about their anus.

Just anuses in general.

Guys who can actually brag about having BIG balls.

Tattooed chicks who love to play with their, er, balls!

People trying to convice me what a GREAT Star Wars movie The Last Jedi was (and if I don't agree I'm some sort of "bigot").

Women who Skype on the toilet.

Women who fart in the pool while they think no one is looking.

Women hitting balls in slow motion.

Women doing THIS.


Seeing two women kiss AFTER they play some volleyball.

Or women kissing in general.

Women sucking on, er, things.

Or eating them!

Women with LONG tongues.

Women with LONG tongues who dress up like superheroes.

Women showing "pride" in their country.

Seeing Wonder Woman running down the street while in slow motion.

Just pretty much women doing anything in general is a MAJOR distraction for me.

And, just so I don't get excused of being "sexist", guys who do THIS! (You're welcome, ladies!)

And, oh yeah, Lena Dunham sitting buck-naked on a toilet seat eating birthday. (Toilet seat cake. Yum!)

And, lastly, posting snarky shit on Commaful is a MAJOR distraction for me!

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