The "Return" Of The Spice Girls?!
The "Return" Of The Spice Girls?! spice girls stories
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tbanarchy
tbanarchy Sometimes serious, mostly snarky author.
Autoplay OFF   •   4 months ago
WTF?!

The "Return" Of The Spice Girls?!

by tbanarchy

So the, uh-hum, geniuses over at Hollywood came up with yet ANOTHER "brilliant" idea.

Apparently next year they're going to release an animated movie featuring-wait for it!-THE SPICE GIRLS that will be voiced by the original Spice Girls themselves.

Isn't THAT great! #SarcasmAlert

In all seriousness, how many people are out there who not only still gives a FUCK about but who even remembers the Spice Girls?

For those who DON'T know, the Spice Girls were an all-female "manufactured" pop group who were popular in the nineties whose big hit was this rather annoying little ditty called "Wannabe".

And you can, of course, listen to the song and hear for yourself WHY it was so annoying. (If you DARE!)

The Spice Girls were sort of like The Monkees only WITHOUT the actual talent.

About the only time I really ever gave a FUCK about the Spice Girls was when one of the SG popped up sans SG outfit in-where else!-Playboy. (I wanna say it was Skanky Spice?)

Oh, and there was that duet one of the other Spice Girls-the one who could actually sing-had with eighties rocker Bryan Adams called "When You're Gone" that I actually liked.

The Spice Girls were also noted for telling the young girls who were the bulk of their fans-of course!-all about "girl power" and all that "feministic" shit.

They gave their "girl power" message to young girls, BTW, while dancing around in rather skimpy outfits. Which was another thing I actually "liked" about the SG!

They were kind of like Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian only WITHOUT the sex tapes!

Anyway, I think it's fair to say that there are MANY others-besides yours truly!-who were perfectly content to have the Spice Girls remain as hasbeens.

I-and I'm sure MANY others-damn sure AREN'T interested in seeing a movie, cartoon flick or otherwise, about the effing Spice Girls!

I mean, they already had ONE Spice Girls movie that came out during the height of their, uh-hum, popularity and that was MORE than enough!

But, apparently, the, uh-hum, geniuses over at Hollyweird have run out of superhero and/or space shit to reboot (and ruin!) so NOW they've turned their "attention" to 90s bands no one gives a FUCK about anymore.

Nice job, Hollyweird! Keep up the GOOD effing work! #SarcasmAlert

Though I will say how I did thoroughly, uh-hum, enjoyed the porno parody of the Spice Girls movie called The 5 Sins that also came out (pardon the pun!) during the 90s!

Ironically, that movie was actually BETTER than the Spice Girls movie even WITHOUT the naughty parts. (And the porn stars could, uh-hum, sing just as well as the SG!)

Now THAT'S what I call feeling "nostalgic"!

Of course, when this movie DOES come out, anyone who dares "criticize" this film will no doubt get called "sexist" and "racist" and that you're even WORSE than that German guy who had the funny-looking mustache!

Just like what happened to the "critics" of "woke" flicks such as Captain Marvel, Star Wars: The Last Jedi AND-of course!-the, uh-hum, beloved all-female "reboot" of Ghostbusters..

To which I kindly say:

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