DON'T read if you're easily-offended or have a weak stomach!
I think it goes without saying we've ALL read or seen stuff online that are all these things & more. But these are for me the best of the best (or worst of the worst!). (You've been warned!)
Man films himself choking his McChicken!
I came across (pardon the pun!) the story of a guy who had a, shall we say, romantic encounter with a McDonald's McChicken. And he FILMED it. AND he put it online! Talk about "special" sauce!
Man dies after eating cocaine from his bro's, er, backside.
So two brothers were arrested and, to keep one brother from going to jail, the other brother ate cocaine his brother was keeping in his, er, backside. Takes brotherly love to a whole NEW level!
Cop gets caught busting a nut!
The police motto is "to serve & protect". Well, a cop in Philly got caught "serving" himself in his car. TWICE! (And once in a Target parking lot!) And, of course, by "serving" I mean fapping.
Vice "journalist" shoves a game controller up his . . .
A "journalist" for the site Vice decided it would be a grand idea to do a piece wherein he shoved a video game controller literally where the sun DON'T shine for . . . journalism? #GamerGape
Chewbacca Mom ('Nuff Said!)
Of course, I'm a BIG Star Wars fan. Still, this "viral" YouTube video showing a mom laughing hysterically while wearing a Chewie mask was to me MORE annoying than the Star Wars Holiday Special!
The video for the song "Baby Talk" by Miley Cyrus.
Miley Cyrus took A LOT of flak for "twerking" on MTV. But she DIDN'T take as much flak for her "Baby Talk" video where she's dressed up as a baby while singing "f*ck me so you stop baby talkin'".
Emma Watson brags about oiling up her pubic hair.
The Harry Potter actress openly admitted to oiling her pubes on a regular basis with a product called Fur Oil that's specifically designed for oiling one's pubes. (It even says so on the bottle!)
Bill Nye's "Sex Junk" rap, er, song.
Bill Nye the "Science" Guy ended one of his Netflix shows with THIS little ditty. WTF doesn't even BEGIN to describe this. This makes "Me So Horny" sound like "Bohemian Rhapsody". Seriously, WTF!
Japanese tentacle porn.
You CAN'T talk of the Webs WITHOUT mentioning porn. And Japanese tentacle porn . . . well, if you HAVEN'T seen it, check it out for yourself. (Be sure to wipe your browsing history afterward!)
I've actually never seen any German porn myself, though I have heard plenty about it. And, from what I've heard, I don't want to see ANY of it, tank you veddy much! (Google it at your OWN risk!)
Ass! So much ass! (Or: An Ode To The "Ass Man"!)
You probably noticed, as I did, many of these stories "deal" with the derriere. It kind of reminds me of that old "Ass Man" episode of the TV show Seinfeld. (Watch it if you haven't already!)
And now . . . here's Elvira!
I'm, of course, NOT calling Elvira effed up, cringy or dumb. But, after reading about THESE stories, I thought it would be more pleasant to end this piece with a shot of the Mistress of the Dark!