Here are just a few of my "goals" in life . . .
I would like to publish a book that's as "popular" as 50 Shades Of Grey (or The Bridges Of Madison County!).
I'd also like to release an album (or two!).
And a movie . . .
And maybe a YouTube channel. (Hey, if Chewbacca Mom and Grumpy Cat can do it!)
I'd also like to do stand up comedy (which I've already tried before).
Maybe I could host my own TV show (with the song "Neighbor" by Ugly Kid Joe or "Pissed" by Dangerous Toys as the theme song!).
I can also stand to lose a few pounds (especially since obesity runs in my family).
I would also like to make that FU money so I can tell EVERYONE to . . . well, you know!
Notice I didn't say get married? (Just saying!)
And, last but NOT least, another one of my "goals" is NOT be hit over the head by a falling air conditioner. (Again, just saying!)