My Non-"Woke" Review Of Batwoman a.k.a. "Batwaman"
My Non-"Woke" Review Of Batwoman a.k.a. "Batwaman" batwoman stories
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tbanarchy
tbanarchy Sometimes serious, mostly snarky author.
Autoplay OFF   •   2 months ago
Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na, BATWAMAN!!!!

My Non-"Woke" Review Of Batwoman a.k.a. "Batwaman"

by tbanarchy

So the, uh-hum, long-awaited "pilot" episode of the "woke" superchick show Batwoman a.k.a. "Batwaman" debuted on the CW a.k.a. the Completely Woke network.

Since I, uh-hum, reviewed the, uh-hum, much beloved trailer to this, uh-hum, popular show, I thought it only fair if I, uh-hum, reviewed the actual show.

You already see where THIS is doing, don't you?

So, in the show just like in the trailer, Bruce Wayne a.k.a. Batman up and leaves Gotham for NO apparent reason.

Maybe Catwoamn stopped letting him pet her pussy since she wanted to strike a blow in the fight against the patriarchy!

Because, you know, "woke"!

Anyway, hIs "cousin" a.k.a. the tattooed badass lesbian chick who becomes Batwoman a.k.a. "Batwaman" breaks into his place where she discovers that, yes, Virginia, Bruce Wayne IS Batman.

She does this AFTER she, uh-hum, confronts Cousin Bruce's token black security guard who turns out to be the MOST inept security guard in the history of security guards.

Because, you know, "woke"!

Anyway, before all of this, we get a flashback to where the tattooed badass lesbian chick who becomes Batwoman a.k.a. "Batwaman" gets booted out of the military for being into clam-digging, if you get my meaning!

And, in case you forget WHAT a tattooed badass lesbian chick the future Batwoman a.k.a. "Batwaman" truly is, the show keeps reminding you of THAT fact every few seconds!

Anyhoo, she tells said token black AND totally inept security guard to "redesign" the Batsuit for her (instead of, you know, making her OWN damn suit like she does in the damn comics!).

When he tells her how the batsuit is "literal perfection", she offers up that by-now-infamously cringe-worthy line (cue close-up!): "It will be . . . when it's made for a waman!"

The Batsuit: Strong enough for a man . . . but made for a waman! (See what I did there?)

Before the show aired, Ruby Rose-who, of course, plays the "Batwaman"-responsed to the "backlash" against the trailer by saying how "old white men" can find something ELSE to watch.

Apparently "old white men"-and others!-did in fact find something else to watch as the pilot episode of Batwoman got the LOWEST rating of any pilot episode of a superhero show in CW history.

Not only that, but the audience rating for the show on the increasingly irrelevant site Rotten Tomatoes is, the last I checked, hovering around-and, no, I'm NOT making this up!-10%.

"Holy mega-flops, Batman!"

Actually, I didn't really hate the Batwoman show. Granted, my expectations for this show were already VERY low to begin with.

My reaction while watching this "woke" show was pretty much "meh".

Of course, it would have been a BETTER show if they had just taken out ALL of the "woke" PC BS. But, then again, this IS the CW a.k.a. the Completely Woke network!

Of course, a lot of OTHER "entertainment" nowadays would be A LOT better if they took out ALL the "woke" PC BS.

And, yeah, I'm looking at YOU, "woke" Disney Star Wars!

But leave it to the CW to turn people OFF to a show about a lesbian superhero!

Speaking of turning people OFF to lesbian superheroes, I've seen articles praising Batwoman a.k.a. "Batwaman" as the FIRST lesbian superhero on TV.

Does that White Canary chick on the CW's OTHER "woke" superhero show Legends Of Tomorrow-who has a damn GIRLFRIEND on the show!-know about THIS?

But, honestly, what the makers of Batwoman SHOULD have done was, instead of casting "woke" Ruby Rose, they should have instead cast, say, Megan Fox to play BW.

Maybe sex up the Batsuit a little bit. That way that "made for a waman" line WOULDN'T sounded so damn cringey!

Also include some MORE of that hot lesbian superhero-on-superhero action!

I guarantee if they has done THIS they could have been as "woke" as they wanted and no one WOULD have cared!

I mean, on the outfit that White Canary chick wears on that LOT show you can CLEARLY see both nipples AND cameltoe & that's probably the WOKEST superhero CW show of all!

That probably explains WHY the show currently has a 71% audience rating on "woke" Rotten Tomatoes in spite of it being the CW's WOKEST superhero show.

OK, it's the second MOST wokest superhero show on the CW, right, Supergirl?

Because remember, boys and girls, you can get away with practically ANYTHING just as long as you proclaim yourself "woke"!

Just ask Justin "Brownface" Trudeau!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to watch one of those 60s Batman episodes that have Batgirl in them.

Mmmmm, LOVE me some Batgirl!

And, of course, if the CW a.k.a. the Completely Woke network EVER decided to do a Batgirl show they would fuck THAT up too!

Also, as if Batwoman a.k.a. Batwaman wasn't "woke" ENOUGH,, they cast none other than media pundit Rachel Maddow for a role in the show (opposed to, of course, a REAL actor who needed the damn job!).

Anyway, what say YOU about the Batwoman show, Joker?

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