My "Clean" Humor
My "Clean" Humor humor stories
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tbanarchy
tbanarchy Sometimes serious, mostly snarky author.
Autoplay OFF   •   5 months ago
Some of these jokes are mine while others I "borrowed" from other places. Enjoy!

My "Clean" Humor

by tbanarchy

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because he was a dumb motherclucker!

How do you know when a pedophile has a big date?

Because there's a Big Wheels parked in his driveway!

What type of meat did the Catholic priest eat on Friday?

NUN!

My grandfather told me how he went to bed with the chickens.

So I never stayed overnight at his house anymore!

A priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a bar.

Then they walked right back out because, you know, it's a priest, a rabbi and a minister!

How many sloths does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None since, you know, they're sloths!

Two rednecks are sitting and watching a dog licking himself when one redneck says to the other, "Man, I would really like to be able to do that!"

And the other redneck says to him, "Man, that dog might bite you if you tried to do that!"

Have you ever chocked your chicken . . .

. . . while spanking your monkey?

Has anyone ever noticed how Cher kind of looks-and sounds-like Mr. Ed?

"If I could turn back time, Wilbur!"

Somebody came up to me the other day and told me how "woke" they were.

I looked at them and said, "Yeah, you look pretty awake to me!"

And, just because I can't help myself, here's a "dirty" joke:

What is the definition of a "headlight"?

It has one-third the calories of a regular BJ!

BTW, the chick pretending to give a BJ is actress Selma Blair. (Yes, that's her "riding" the elephant!)

Just thought you'd like to know!

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