If I Directed A Charlie's Angels Movie . . .
If I Directed A Charlie's Angels Movie . . . offer stories
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tbanarchy
tbanarchy Sometimes serious, mostly snarky author.
Autoplay OFF   •   4 months ago
More sh!t about "woke" Charlie's Angels!

If I Directed A Charlie's Angels Movie . . .

by tbanarchy

I, of course, posted an earlier "review" of the trailer for the upcoming Charlie's Angels reboot and how "woke" it seemed to be.

Well, this flick is apparently MORE "woke" than even the trailer lets on as Elizabeth Banks-who directs and stars in this movie-has since stated what her "goal" is for the film.

In an interview she did for the "woke" site Collider, Miss Liz declared that her CA reboot was not only for women but that her "message" in the film is to "believe women".

Gee, where have we heard THIS "woke feminist" PC BS before a movie came out? Oh yeah, that's right!

And, if this WEREN'T enough, Liz also states in her interview how she wanted to stay true to the 70s show's "feminist roots" but THEN said she "dismissed" the show's abundant T & A.

I guess in Elizabeth Banks's "woke" mind women become DUMBER when they don a bikini. Who knew!

All this got me to thinking how I would, uh-hum, direct my own Charlie's Angels movie.

Oh, I bet you know where THIS is going, don't you?

First off, I would cast the following actresses to play the "angels":

Scarlett Johansson

Megan Fox

Gal Gadot

I picked these actresses because they would likely "trigger" the Twitter "woke" mob the MOST (Google it). Plus they ALL would look damn good in a bikini!

I would probably keep Patrick Stewart on as Bosley (since I'm actually a fan of Pat!).

Or, to really "trigger" the Twitter "woke" mob, I'd cast Andrew "Dice" Clay!

For the villain, I'd cast Stacey Dash, which would be the MOST "triggering" of all!

Mainly because she "supports" THIS guy!

And, just for the sheer hell of it, my Charlie's Angels flick would even feature a cameo from the one & only Elvira herself!

In short, my Charlie's Angels reboot would have blood and guts and SO much T & A it would make the TV show AND the movies look like fucking Sesame Street!

And, above all, MY "reboot" of Charlie's Angels WON'T have ANY "woke" BULLSHIT like you're undoubtedly going to see in Elizabeth Banks's CA "reboot"!

Even the movie poster would show the backsides of all three stars sort of like the second CA movie with the caption: "Get Some!" Or: "Get YOU Some!"

Oh, I can see the "triggering" on Twatter already!

Now, I ask you, which would YOU rather see: MY version of Charlie's Angels or Elizabeth Banks's (no relation!) "woke" version?

I'll wait!

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