So today is my birthday!
For a birthday present, please send me dick pics.
And by dick pics I, of course, mean pics of former president the late Richard Nixon!
Oh, and DON'T forget the monkeys!
NEVER forget the monkeys!
Heaven help you if YOU forget those damn monkeys!
I mean, without the monkeys, what the hell ELSE am I going to spank?
Now some, of course, might ask just how "old" am I anyway?
Let's just say I'm "old" enough to remember the time when "Googling" oneself had an entirely DIFFERENT meaning, if you get MY meaning!
And, like always, I think you DO, you pervs!
And, speaking of pervs, as a BD gift to myself, here's a pic of that Dakota Johnson showing her ass-literally!-in that 50 Shades Of Grey flick.
I would, of course, show her WHOLE ass but I don't think Commaful allows the showing of whole asses on here. (You know, because there's kids and shit on here.)
Anyway, happy VD, uh, I mean BD to ME!
And, oh yeah, make sure to save me a piece . . . of cake!