I don’t exist anymore.
The girl that used to live within this skin is no longer here.
This last Friday night I watched her disappear.
Faded away like the stain on her lips
Stolen away with a swing of her hips.
One minute she was there. Laughing and flirting, feeling like she was real and tangible and capable of everything.
She had sturdy bones, gleaming teeth, strong hands and she was holding onto something.
She sipped brightly colored poison and felt her head become lighter and filled with stars instead of the usual dark.
She was whole.
Her heart bursting with art.
And then suddenly she was not.
Here for a moment....
Then gone from the spot .
She blinked out of existence her candle lost its flame.
Left with only a whispered breath of a name.
The light that shone in her eyes grew dim and yet somehow the world continued to spin.
She vanished and reappeared outside in the cold, her head pressed to his chest.
Lost and unbalanced with legs ready to fold.
But she wasn’t really there. It was a trick of headlights and wishful thinking.
No one could sense the danger after all they had been drinking.
Her illusion popped up in a few more places, a bathroom, a strangers car, another backseat another floor.
Her faced pressed to the carpet trying to hold onto the handle of a door.
She didn’t want to leave.
Not again she cried
But she did.
And that's when a part of her died.
And then she returned.
She found a foothold on the edge of the world.
A desperate move for a desperate girl.
She reached out her bloodied hand marked with half moons of teeth.
She was able to grasp onto the side
Her pale arm trembled half in relief.
Pulled from the cliff and brought into her home.
At least she wasn't alone.
Because there was a poison inside of her that she hadn’t picked.
There was a thorn on a spindle and she had been pricked.
There were bruises and bright splotches of red that she didn’t comprehend.
There was pity, pain, and sadness in the eyes of her friend.
Her mind emptied of constellations and was left with churning waves.
Her thoughts swam in circles before drowning in shallow graves.
Where did she go?
Why was her skin so cold?
Why didn't she know?
What happened to the thrum of her heart or the sigh of her breath?
She was gone.
Just a specter.