Sometimes, I feel sad.
There's no logical explanation. No easy reason. I just feel sad.
People get unsettled by the uncertainty.
Surely, there must be something behind this sadness. No. There is not.
This sadness is no allusion to anything.
It is as objective as a cloud in the sky. It is as good of an indicator of my life as one cloud is an indicator of global weather.
Sometimes, I feel tired.
Tired of labels. Tired of all this fear. Tired of being ashamed of myself.
Sometimes I feel so tired
That I tend to pretend I'm not really here.
Sometimes I leave myself briefly.
I become the cloud, I float away. I find a perspective far, far from all this human disarray.
Sometimes I forget.
I forget who I am, and where I've been. Forget where I want to go.
Sometimes remembering is too painful
Because to remember is to feel. To feel is to expose. To be exposed is to be vulnerable.
Perhaps the bravest are those who wear no armour
Perhaps those who feel the most and continue to fight for fulfilment and meaning in their lives
Are stronger for all their weakness.
Are brave for feeling. As the others avert their eyes, block their ears, numb their hearts.
Perhaps there is merit to feeling. To being open.
Then again, there is great certainty in being closed. The safety of being hidden behind a locked door.
Who am I to claim to know
I am but a wanderer. A cloud in this troubled sky.
Hiding from reality, high in the sky.
Nobody can hurt me up here. But they never cease to try.