I don’t want to give any fuckboys the time or day. I don’t want to write about my experiences with them.
I think every woman has dealt with these assholes and they just rip our hearts out from our chests because they’re too indecisive and by indecisive,
I mean they’ve been sleeping with other people.
I was nineteen years old and attending my local community college. It was May and I finished my last class of the day.
I always remember this experience as if I’m living inside an 8-bit gameboy color version of Pokémon. I was walking towards the parking lot when suddenly a boy appeared. Cue the battle music.
He appeared out of nowhere and I thought, “C’mon man, I’m twenty minutes away from eating dinner.” However, something was different.
He wasn’t using any pickup lines, he wasn’t staring at any part of my body. By the way, I was looking like a hot mess that day.
I was wearing an oversized pullover, leggings that had a bleach stain, and my favorite pair of old, dirty converse. For whatever reason he thought I was cute.
After a silly conversation about Taking Back Sunday, he asked for my number. We started texting and hanging out on campus. It was both weird and really cute.
I never experienced any sort of dating or even meeting someone for afternoon tea in the Community College cafe. On the last day of the semester he invited me on an actual date.
We went to a local cafe and ordered a slice of Oreo cheesecake. He asked if I wanted to go back to his place to hang out and I agreed.
I met his landlord’s dog, Shellie and we had some awkward conversations. He then said something along the lines of, “I think you’re cute and I want to kiss you.
” In a very naive, nineteen year old manner I said, “Same!”
It’s my first ever relationship and there are a lot of things I’ve learned about myself. Like, apparently I’m a pretty jealous person and that sucks.
I learned the importance of communication because he’s not always going to be on the same wavelength.
I don’t want to idealize our relationship as something that’s perfect, because it is far from perfect.
However, does it shock me to have someone who has both a romantic and physical interest in me?
A thousand percent, and on my end it’s been a difficult process to try to get over my feelings of distrust and insecurity. However, he’s been patient and understanding about where I come from.
Even though it drives him nuts, but for whatever reason he puts up with me.
We’ve been together for about three years and neither of have any intention of moving in or getting married. It’s actually kinda great that we’re both atheist and don’t believe in marriage.
I’m not sure if our life plan include each other, but I can only think of the present. The harsh reality is that my boyfriend isn’t perfect and neither am I.
There are many possibilities that could result in inevitable heartbreak and sometimes I question if companionship is worth the heartbreak.
However, the cheesy, awful romantic remembers all of the kisses on foreheads, making dinner just so we can watch TV on the couch together,
trips to Carvel because we’re both children who need to have dessert after dinner, and we’re just both so dumb, but somehow we work. For now it works and I’m okay with that.