I want to burn brightly like the stars~~

I used to

I used to wish

I used to wish for death

I used to wish for death on a dying star

wanting nothing more

wanting nothing more than to get off this

wanting nothing more than to get off this f u c k i n g

wanting nothing more than to get off this f u c k i n g earth.

I was

s

s u

s u i

s u i c

s u i c i

s u i c i d

s u i c i d a

s u i c i d a l

not caring what way

not caring what way I escaped

(bus, car, train, or hanged)

as long as

as long as I could end

as long as I could end the pain

as long as I could end the pain that ate

as long as I could end the pain that ate my happiness

as long as I could end the pain that ate my happiness like a parasite

as long as I could end the pain that ate my happiness like a parasite taking

as long as I could end the pain that ate my happiness like a parasite taking taking

as long as I could end the pain that ate my happiness like a parasite taking taking taking

as long as I could end the pain that ate my happiness like a parasite taking taking taking away

all the tingly

all the tingly feelings

all the tingly feelings of butterfly's

all the tingly feelings of butterfly's and warm insides.

I was

n

n u

n u m

n u m b

and dumb

carelessly

carelessly playing with life

(like it wasn't worth the fight)

slicing

slicing and slicing

slicing and slicing and slicing

slicing and slicing and slicing with that knife

just

just hoping

just hoping wishing

just hoping wishing begging

that

that the pain inside

that the pain inside would stop.

but

but now

now that

d

d e

d e a

d e a t

d e a t h

has knocked at my door

I don't know if I'm ready to go...

I used to

I used to wish

I used to wish for death

I used to wish for death on a dying star

but now that I'm falling

I'm realizing

all I've learnt is how to die

but

I want to know

I want to try

to

to learn

to learn how

to learn how to

to learn how to live.

Please, if you have any thoughts of suicide call a helpline. I know how hard it is having these thoughts, so if you ever just need someone to talk DM me. Stay safe<3