It is almost midnight, And we are at the doctor's. Me, mum, and Richard are in the waiting room. Richard is only eight, And therefore is very tired and grumpy. Dad is with the doctor.
Dad had nibbled a washing tablet. He wanted to see if the wrapper was made of gelatine. Mum said it was, I said it was, Richard is only eight doesn't know what gelatine is, But even he knew,
That dishwasher tablets, Are not an after-dinner snack. But dad, He had to be extra sure. So first he took a tiny bite, He rolled it about on his tongue, He hemmed and hawwed,
He noded and screwed his face up, He spat it out, And concluded that the tablet was, Infact, Coated with gelatine. And then dad went blue.
Mum lept up off the sofa, Apparently this was serious enough, For her to turn off East Enders. Richard started to giggle; "Daddy's bubbling! Daddy's bubbling!" Dad was frothing at the mouth.
Mum yelled at me, "Call nine-nine-nine!" For once, I obeyed without question, The lady who answered asked, "Is the patient breathing," Dad was even bluer, And making funny noises,
"No, he is blue," I said. The lady said she'd send an ambulance. Richard thought the whole thing was brilliant, "We're going in a nambulance!" 'Nambulances' were his favourite. Dad had gone bluer.
Eventually, the medics arrived, Mum explained what had happened, They said it was quite common, And not to worry, And he'd be fine in a bit, But they'd take him in for observation anyway.
(I suspect that was because Richard had asked to ride in the ambulance, and he is only eight) Mum said she'd go, I said I'd go, Richard was already onboard. And so, there we all were, Regretting that we had agreed,
To accompany dad. At midnight, In the waiting room, With nothing to do. All because, My omniscient father, Just had to know,
If the wrapper to the washing tablet, Did not need to be removed. And you know what the worst bit was? The icing on the cake? If he had only listened to us, Or looked at the box,
Or read the writing, Clearly printed, On the wrapper, Before he took a bite - He would have had his answer.