Dear Bessie, I am scared and at risk of being sectioned. You are my oldest and dearest friend, and this letter is written in the strictest confidence.
What you are to read below is the truth and the only explanation of my disfigurement.
Please, I cannot go on like this much longer, and I fear that seeing a psychiatrist will only convince my family that I have gone insane...
The phone rang - once, twice, thrice. A fourth time. I rose from my stupor and answer. "Hello?" I said, still blurred from sleep. There was silence.
"Hello? Who is there?" and silence replied again. Thinking it a junk call, or perhaps a misdialled number from someone's aged aunt, I replaced the receiver.
As I settled back down in my chair and fiddled with the television remote, there was a ringing from out in the hallway.
"Hello?" I said, irritated, "hello?" There was a brief silence and then a faint whisper came from the phone, "Join us."
"Who is this?" I asked, imaging it now not to be an aged aunt, but some irritation of a nephew, who has decided to spend his evening prank calling strangers. "Look, whoever you are..."
I began, but the phone interrupted, "Join us, join us!" I realised with a start that the voice was not alone, but a cacaphonic rusting of a thousand voices, a hellish choir.
Unnerved I moved to hang up, but a long pink tongue slid into my ear. I screamed and pulled away from the plastic, but the phone bit me, clamping me fast between some new-found teeth.
Blood poured down my cheek and neck as I pulled harder. Somehow the phone continued whispering to me, "join us, join us, JOIN US!" The final cry was a roar that echoed through my house.
I screamed louder and with a final, excruciating tug I was free of the plastic beast. It gnashed and writhed in my hand and still screaming I slammed the receiver against its fixture.
I can no longer stand any phone, mobile or landline, to be near me, hence the letter.
I know this tale sounds mad, but it is the honest truth and my phone bill proves it (see attached), please note the number highlighted is 0000 000 0000, which is no number registered on earth, yet there it is. I am at my wit's end, and I don't know who to see. Perhaps a priest...