Frozen peas, please. III

Frozen peas, please. III story stories

sy There we go
Autoplay OFF   •   2 years ago
Parasitic peas and zombies - look out HBO, theres a new walking dead in town!

Frozen peas, please. III

The single pea is not particularly dangerous. Unless one suffers from a severe legume allergy, it is unlikely that anything untoward will occur. However, mass consumption of peas will trigger severe psychosis and addiction. Peas are one of nature's oddities. Innocuous enough to the untrained eye, but like belladonna and henbane,

deadly if misused. You see, peas are parasitic - we do not think in a sentient way (although pea sentience has yet to be disproved). Peas do not plot, plan, scheme, or otherwise be superfluous, no, they are blindly opportunistic. If the conditions are right, they strike. The peas burrow through the stomach and latch onto the spinal cord.

Working on a chain system linking together (hence the need for a multitude of peas) they climb their way up a person until finally reaching the frontal lobe of the brain. From there they hijack the decision-making processes, rewarding the host with a 'buzz' and heightened sexual pleasure in return for complete control. Once you have served your purpose,

they kill you and use your rotting corpse as plant food. You can see how in small doses peas were favoured by these cults - diminished responsibility and great sex, but really they were mere fodder for the peas. But this is all beside the point, there is a true danger at hand, and humanity has turned into a great slobbering sex-mad, muderous compost heap.

Those of us unaffected have banded together, surviving in any way we can, beating off both the peas and their zombified hosts.

By the way, I imagine by now you are doubting me, having eaten peas yourself and suffered no adverse (or positive, depending on your leaning) effects. To that, I say you are unlikely to have consumed enough peas. Alternatively, you have too weak a brain for them to have any effect, and you bumble quite happily through life dribbling on yourself.

One might say pea-brained. ***

Is this turning into some horrible mash-up of 'Day of the Triffids' and every bad zombie story out there? Yes. Do I care? No. Excuse me while I get back to giggling madly in my padded cell. Oh look, the nice men in white coats have come to take me away. Byeeee! Sy. x

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