They said that I should stop being so quiet. They really want to talk to me. Spend time with me. I do too. But I don't know how.
Does that make sense?
Of course it doesn't. *dejected sigh*
It's like the universe is trying to tell me that I'm so out of place that I don't even fit the stereotypes. *harsh laugh* Neither a nerd nor a bitch. Not a shy girl but not a wild girl either.
Just a clueless freak.
Who doesn't belong. At all. Even with others who are rejected by the society. Rejected by humanity.
I heard him talking yesterday to his friends. He think I talk too much. I talk nonsense. He wants a shy sweet girl. Not a blabbering dumb idiot. Is that what I am? A blabbering dumb idiot?
Or is that what I should be?
This keeps getting harder. I'm losing my identity. *shudders*
I'm losing myself.
It feels like I've been pushed into a deep void. A colourful void. So colourful that it hurts my eyes. It makes my head hurt. It makes me scream. It makes me want to hurl something.
No no no. What am I saying? Who am I talking to? Who are you? You're going to hurt me, aren't you?
Tear me apart, trait by trait. You want to know who I am. *harsh shriek*
Well then. Go ahead. Go ahead and pull out each piece.
Why, you ask? *broken laughter*
You won't find anything.