1 year ago, I started feeling more depressed. I was having these weird thoughts of killing myself. I was scared and was beginning to break. I hid it away. No one would want to see this, I am the happy girl. I am the one who always smiles. I'm not supposed to change.
But then I met my best friend. He showed me that sometimes it's okay to cry because people are still going to love me. He taught me that things will be okay. I can get better. I wasn't as afraid anymore to be honest about who I really am.
Things were okay for a while. I was in almost constant contact with my best friend. Then the counselor found out about me and called my parents. I became afraid to go home. My phone got taken and I couldn't talk to anyone when I was feeling down. Cuts found their way onto my arm and I couldn't stop them.
I found Commaful through a friend's recommendation. Getting on here was one of the best decisions I ever made. I couldn't believe what was happening. People were reading what I wrote and they actually liked it. I got support from friends and even people I didn't know. It made me smile to see that I had found a place to call home.
But now there is someone on here who doesn't belong. Every word, every thought, every feeling I write about is judged. Their only reasoning is to get in my head. I came here for the sole purpose of writing. What I got was more than I could ever dream of having. I could be myself. Now it's flying away. That one person is stalking my words and instills fear inside me.
I don't want to hide again. I don't want to have to start everything all over. I don't want to switch schools and be all alone in the world. I can't do it. So I will continue on the path I am. I know it is dark and gloomy. It might tear me apart. But if I have my friends by my side, I can make it through the dark. I love you guys.
So now I ask my judge, do you understand yet? The trial has been ongoing for months. The evidence is plain and clear but you don't see. Be honest judge. Am I guilty or innocent?