Placing trust in another human is a complex and dangerous dance. A dance that many of us spend our lives maneuvering around at any cost.
To place trust in someone is not an act within ourselves, it's rather an outward gift bestowed upon another.
Now for some of us, it is hardly a bestoment as we offload a secret life of tragedy, dillision, and betrayal. But I am sure you get the point nonetheless.
To instill trust into someone is handing over one's personal kryptonite and praying for a good outcome.
Entrustment is Julias Caesar curating, sharpening, and handing over the blades that will soon breach his betrayed and lifeless body.
You are giving a gift that could grow two souls close; or it could just as likely kill you.
So whom do we give these honors to? The vetting process is more complex than algebra and more grueling than the Appalachian trail.
We spend years or even decades tip toeing around those that we have not yet sworn the sacred oath to. We watch them with other boxes of secrets.
We evaluate the way they care for us in times of good and times of bad. It is much deeper than asking if this person is trustworthy.
Trustworthiness only goes so far when the gossip gets extra juicy. You have to process a person's morals and internal compass.
You have to ask yourself "Is this even someone that deserves my vulnerability?
" This last criteria is often enough to send most people running back to a diary or journal to confess sins, rather than a dear friend or ally. And alas, you see the roots of my writings.
And just to be clear, we are not talking about expressing small half truths.
Instilling trust isn't talking to a buddy about your most recent lay, or the one time you cheated on an exam in college.
Trustworthiness is telling your buddy about your most recent lay, when it wasn't your wife. It is when your words are going to cut someone in half, and suck all the air out of the room.
When you are not looking for comfort, support, or an inflation of ego. It is actually the inverse. Trust comes into play when you need someone to crush you.
When you need someone to honestly evaluate you in a no bullshit kind of way. We seek trustworthy people when we expect to be disappointed or hurt by the response.
Why? Well, when you need a dose of lifesaving medicine, also known as brutally honest truth, you go to those that will expel it.
We don't expose our vulnerability on behalf of some small petty nonsense. Truth is dished out when we need answers, and we need answers from an unbiased and reliable source. Trust is permission.
Permission to speak with total disregard for feelings, family or friends. The way a younger, more inferior wolf submits and rolls on its back, exposing its neck to its alpha. That is trust.
The young wolf is saying "Hey, I am weak and clearly need to be shown the true light or structure here amongst our ranks.
" The wolf does so, entrusting the alpha wolf in the pack to show mercy, not rip out his throat, and still teach the young wolf the truths of his reality.
Now before we get too far down the rabbit hole of wolf biology and the hierarchies amongst packs, let us do a little test.
As cliche as it is, imagine you were leaving work late one winter night in the middle of a snowy downpour.
As you approach the last stoplight before your home you hear the wheels of your car break traction. The screeching of tires is matched by the sudden uncontrollability of the vehicle.
As your car slides off the designated path, you plow into an entire class of elementary school children. Let's imagine they are all orphaned, refugee, christ loving, children too.
Just for added effect. Being the likely scumball you are you decide you've got to hide these 27 bodies somewhere to avoid time in the clink. You are gonna need some man power.
You are gonna need someone you trust.
Now obviously our example is a dramatic bit of satire, but you get the idea. Really truly evaluate how many people on this earth you trust. It is said you will meet 10,000 people in your life.
Of those, how many do you deeply and genuinely trust. My guess would be one, two, or maybe three.
If you are imagining 5+ people, then the harsh reality of backstabbing friends and family has yet to find you. Standby, the universe will disappoint you soon.
Let's imagine you have 2 people you trust, and you'll meet 10,000 in your life. 1 out of 5,000 people are trustworthy in your life.
That is one of the steepest gradients in human interaction I would imagine. I can not think of any gift more valuable than trust. I can name 5 people right now.
I would give everything I own too if they needed it. I can think of 10 people I would give organs to in a pinch to save a life. But my trust? No way, not a chance.
You can happily have my kidney, but not a chance in hell am I gonna tell you about the nasty things I did last summer. Dream on.