Why?
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smilealittleanother soul in the infinte universe
Autoplay OFF  •  5 months ago
This an old poem I wrote in November, when I was going through a terrible break up, this one will always be my personal favorite.

Why?

by smilealittle

I don't understand, Why? What did I do to get this? Wasn't I enough?

Did I love wrong?

Maybe I loved too much? Maybe I loved too little.

What did I do wrong?

I put everything in, gave it my all yet it's never enough. I don't understand why?

Why did you leave? I guess, I didn't love you enough. If I never fought with you, Would you still be here?

Maybe if I said I love you more. Maybe, just maybe you would stay. But you left, and took everything with you.

Why did you take my breath away?

Left me here, gasping for air. You took my oxygen with you. Left me in tears. Gasping for air.

Tears soaking my hair Leaving me drowning in an ocean of sadness, But I'm on land.

In a dark room, In the fake arms of a stuffed animal Wishing for a light To pick me out of the darkness.

Why did you take my light?

My light that is barely there. A small lifeless flame about burnt out. And once it's out my eyes will die My soul will cry, but You took that too.

Why did you take my soul with you?

I gave it too you, when i gave you that notebook. 70 pages that expressed all my love for you. You said you would protect it forever I guess forever came too soon.

Becasue here I am, Crying. In a dark room In the arms of a stuffed animal.

That you gave me Because you said, You loved me.

Why did you lie?

Is it because you didn't want me to come back? Because congrats, You won, I'm gone But it doesn't matter.

I still want you back.

Even though I am better than that. You said you were honest, To believe you and i did, Like a clueless child full of innocent.

Now i feel like a baby, Crying for a blanky. That I lost And I can't get it back.

Like a child that found out Santa isn't real. Why?

Why did you take my dreams away from me?

Leave me here, Broken, with only a nightmarish reality. No peace; No serenity. Just me alone in a dark room.

Wishing for the darkness to take, the memories out of my head. Becasue all they do is make me wish I was dead.

You said you would take a bullet for me, Turns out you're the one behind the trigger. I'm shot, bleeding tears. With a lifeless stuffed animal

That you gave me with the sounds of me sobbing. With the echo of your voice telling me, "I am going to be okay."

That you love me.

The growls of my stomach fill the room. I'm hungry But everything tells me I'm not.

You took, my will, too live.

Where I find comfort now, Is the thought of death. Like a child that has no nightlight, And the boogyman is left to come get them.

Why? It's not fair. You just broke me and left me here. Why? I don't understand .

Why did you kill me? Why did you leave me alone? With only one thing on my mind, Why?

Why did you say goodbye?

Leave me on seen, With a cruel reality. a headache that won't stop pounding. Eyes that cry and close by themselves.

Because they are tired of it. Cry till I pass out. Sleep blocks out the pain, But I can't sleep until my body makes me.

Forces me to sleep, Forces me to breath. But my throat hurts, I'm in pain.

Why did you make me insane? Sometimes I feel okay, then i just want to cry.

Why did you want me to die?

Broke my heart. Threw it on the floor, Broke in pieces, Like a porcelin glass plate.

Now here I am picking up the pieces. In the cold arms of a stuffed animal, and silence, insufferable silence. And my thoughts.

They scream that it is my fault

People will tell me it's not, But you left me on the spot. No excuse, just okay bye. No call, no text.

My soul does not exist. It's not there anymore. You broke in and you stole it. And I can't get it back.

Did you move on?

Because if you did, Can i get everything back? I saw you the other day, I knew it was you.

Even from far away, I knew it was you, And with you stood, three girls. Both laughing and talking.

Like you never broke my heart The day before.

I guess I was never enough. I guess my love was weak. But didn't I give you my all? I feel like I got an A+ on a test.

But he wanted more.

How can you do this? But you did, time to face the truth. You are gone, and all that is left is me.

In a dark room, a cold empty dark room. In the arms of a lifeless stuffed animal, You gave me because you said, You love me.

Crying my heart out over you, But you don't care. Wish i could die.

In this small, empty, freezing room. Feeling no light or life.

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