a child trapped in an adults body.
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skyensaraCommunity member
Autoplay OFF  •  2 months ago

a child trapped in an adults body.

by skyensara

when I was a child I didn't have very much of a childhood, my mother left when I was a tiny child and my father was sick and didn't have much time working three jobs and having three kids to look

after. I love that man so much, but trying to raise three kids alone and working three jobs made him really ill. he will always be forgiven and a hero in my eyes to me, but I spent most of my

childhood alone. it was lonely and depressing, and most of it was just me learning my own way to take care of my self, and in a world full of expectations and different people who didn't know or

understand. I spent a lot of time being abused and bullied. looking for animals to love in the way I wished people would love me and back then I didn't understand either, looking back I see my

father did the best he could with what he had, he didn't get much support, and for that I feel sad when I look into his eyes, blue and saddened like mine from a cold, uncaring world. one he faced

bravely, I will never respect anyone as much as I respect him. as I saw so many things no child should see, starved of time and affection, abused and broken. trying to be an adult in a child's

body. I think I lost my happiness and understanding that life can be beautiful, everyone thinks in spite of my autism that I am smart, but I think I just learned the wrong things as a child, and

all the things I should have been learning, no one was there to teach me. in some ways I am not stupid like how to pick a lock, break a code, how to escape being locked somewhere, but in social

and other ways i am still like a big child, and I don't think I will ever grow up, I still seek comfort from animals, I like blowing bubbles, watching films on repeat, or playing outside, but I

love those things they are all I had as a child, and the fact I have spent my life being bullied for what comforts has left me feeling like a venerable lost child trapped inside an adults body...

I might forget to look when im crossing the road, I might not be the able to remember im cooking, or drift off into my own little world, I might not know how to talk to people. but if that means

society will isolate me because of it, they could at least be more understanding of my differences, I don't want to grow up and im not ready to. I just want to have happiness. I am an adult child

I have brain damage, depression, anxiety, learning difficulties, autism and heart problems...... but most of all, I am developmentally delayed and emotionally delayed. I am the child I should

have been trapped in an adults body, as before I was a little adult, trapped in the body of a child. I've lived my life backwards and its time for people to just accept me as I am, or let me be x

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