Say When






Say When friendship stories
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skwiblur
skwiblur Passing thoughts could be epiphanies.
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Psychologists say that friendships that last for a minimum of seven years are those that last a lifetime. On the other hand, others believe that the reason why friendships last is not because we choose them to, it depends on circumstances.

Say When

Psychologists say that friendships that last for a minimum of seven years are those that last a lifetime.

On the other hand, others believe that the reason why friendships last is not because we choose them to, it depends on circumstances.

Initially, I thought that what mattered was how your relationship have grown through the years.

There have been never-ending laughter and a lot of tears but for some reason, you are always back in each others' company. You see through each others' tears and the forced smiles.

And of course, the classic sign that you are soul mates is when you finish each others' sentences. You even think alike, so alike that it seems as if you were two halves of a whole.

Sounds cliche, I know.

As years pass, we realize that we are heading to a fork road. A time will come when we have to make choices or go on separate ways and tread different paths.

No matter how different the directions we take, there will always be detours or routes that bring us together again.

We talk about the paths we have taken, experiences we cherish and those that we wish to forget.

We share the happiness and feel guilty for not being there for each other when we were supposed to be. But that is how we grow individually.

We give each other enough room for personal growth that we may not experience in a too familiar environment that sets all kinds of limitations.

That is the beauty of friendships that are written in the stars.

On the flip side, fork roads may not only bring people apart physically but also emotionally.

As we discover and experience personal growth, we also get to realize the things that we are capable of doing in the absence of our peers.

And this is when we start asking questions that we refuse to know the answers to. No, we do not refuse to answer them. We are afraid of answers, the truth. Things have changed and so have we.

As much as we want to keep the relationships and friendships intact, those changes are simply beyond our control.

We find ourselves looking back, traveling down the memory lane and start reminiscing the good times that we could never bring back.

And we tear up as we recall the worst fights we had but they brought us closer, more than ever.

But there is a sharp pain when it hit us that the Universe has been telling us that it is time to let go.

We just turned a deaf ear since we realize how much we have invested in this relationship and friendship.

The denial is what keeps us holding on to the false hope that maybe, things will just go back naturally to how they were. That would be nice.

The five stages of grief in letting go is as painful as any other. It is because we cared, care, or have cared so much about these wonderful people.

Some of us may wish we could just jump from the first stage to the last so we could get it over and done with. Unfortunately, that's not how it works.

We have to go through the pain to really feel the emotional freedom and sobriety that have truly longed for.

As mentioned earlier, it is not our personal choice that determines how long our friendships last, it depends on circumstances. Circumstances could mean a lot of things.

It could be moving to a new city, getting a new job, a change of career, new friends, being in a romantic relationship, climbing ladders,

...and even the pandemic that we are currently learning how to live with.

For years, I have been pouring my heart out to my circle of friends and they have been a good shoulder to cry on. But days, weeks, months and years have passed.

And I could feel the distance between us in all aspects. Denying that things are changing is a lot easier than facing the truth that we grew apart and become different.

We used to be on the same wavelength. And that extraordinary wavelength has become some sort of a static that is hard to decipher.

I start to justify the circumstances by blaming and criticizing myself which is apparently self-destructive.

Looking at things at a different angle, my best friend in some ways has made me feel less of myself, insecure. Although it is not her intention, I do not like how I feel.

It should be the last thing that you feel when you are with your best friend regardless of your status.

I ignored it on several occasions but my instincts, my intuition has been screaming in my ear all this time.

My friends have been pouring tea into my cup and I have not even heard the phrase "Say when."

My anger was inexplicable. I am angry with the circumstance, with how things change, with how our friendship has turned out, and with myself.

Now, I wonder if there is anything that I could bargain just to keep this friendship. Is it worth it?

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