Beautifully Broken (Pt 1)
Beautifully Broken (Pt 1) dear evan hansen stories
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silverlilly
silverlilly ~Daughter of Hades|Musical Fangirl~
Autoplay OFF   •   a year ago
This is a Dear Evan Hansen (Tree bros) fanfiction that I wrote. I felt a need to write this because the phrase "Beautifully Broken" is one that describes me so well, and I felt it applied to Connor.

Beautifully Broken (Pt 1)

This is a Dear Evan Hansen (Tree bros) fanfiction that I wrote. I felt a need to write this because the phrase "Beautifully Broken" is one that describes me so well, and I felt it applied to Connor.

Warning: Self-harm, depression, drug use, etc. If you are sensitive to these, then I suggest not reading this.

This will be a multi-part fanfiction, mostly because it's over 6 thousand words. It's all from Connor's point of view.

14 (Freshman year)

"Connor! Connor!" Cynthia called up the stairs to the bedroom down the hall. Connor growled under his breath.

Why would no one leave him alone?! Connor set his book down (The Giver, he was re-reading it for the 10th time), sat up, and stomped downstairs. "What?!" he snarled as he entered the kitchen.

Zoe glanced up at him, then giggled a bit. Larry just kept his eyes down. Yeah, why look at the disappointment, huh?! Connor felt the anger rise in him again.

"What's so funny, brat?" he snapped at Zoe. Zoe looked hurt. "I wasn't making fun of you... Your hair is just messy."

Connor ran a hand through his hair (it was down to his ears now, the longest he'd ever had it). "Yeah, no better than yours, little hypocrite." he snapped. Cynthia sighed.

"Dinner, Connor, that's all I called you for... And please check the attitude." Connor turned his gaze on her.

"Really? Really?! I was doing fine! I was up in my room reading, perfectly happy, and you decided to bother me, Cynthia." Larry cleared his throat. "Sit down, son. You can go back to your room after you eat."

"Don't call me son!" Connor snarled, debating just running to his room, but his stomach growled. "Whatever," Connor grumbled under his breath.

Cynthia put the food (Chinese, ugh) on the table. They all served themselves, none talking. Cynthia looked sad, Zoe was meek, and Larry... He was obviously regretting his decision to have a son.

Connor didn't blame him. Connor knew he was a bad son, a mean brother. He knew he had issues.

He was only 14 and was already planning his next trip to Dustin, a sophomore whose dad was a drug dealer, so he always had some good drugs. Connor was only 14, and he already wore long sleeves in the heat of summer to hide the scars that he started making at 11. "Sorry, Zoe," Connor mumbled quietly, so only Zoe could hear it.

Zoe briefly met his eyes. 'It's okay, you didn't mean it,' Zoe mouthed at him. That only did so much to settle the guilt in Connor's stomach.

--

"Cynthia, there's something wrong with him. He's so angry all the time."

"He never used to be like this, -sob- he used to be so happy..."

"Cynthia, we need to accept this. He's heading down the wrong path."

"B-but... I don't want to make him worse..."

"He's already broken."

Connor listened to his parent's conversation through their door. Broken. That word... It fit him. Somehow, hearing that, it clicked.

It described him, just like how "Blue-eyed" and "Brown-haired" described him. Connor closed his eyes and moved up to his room, locking the door and flopping onto his bed.

He pulled out his phone, sighing a bit. He glanced over at the floorboard, the one with space under it. The one with the box that contained... stuff a 14-year-old shouldn't have.

Connor crawled out of bed, a rushing in his ears. Tomorrow his arms would be stinging and sore. Tomorrow he would have to keep his sleeves pulled low to hide the bandages.

Tomorrow he would be pale and shaky and tired. But tonight, the pain would be... not gone, exactly. But it would be something he could deal with. Something visible, something concrete.

It was only a temporary solution, but it was the only one he had.

Broken...

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