I remember the day I asked you if you ever got jealous of me
of the guys that flirted with me. Of the people that offered me compliments, flattered me in ways you never bothered with.
and I was surprised when you responded.
Not by your answer, which was a no, but of how it affected me.
My stomach dropped and my mind began to fill with thoughts
You didn't care about losing me. You were using me. Using my body, using my naive soul that longed for you.
My eyes closed and I remember turning away from you
It was too hard to face you. Too hard to face the quick realization i tried to press from my mind. I cared more for you than you did for me. I didn't want to believe it.
Tears began to pour down my face as i turned my back to you
and the worst part about it was, you didn't care enough to notice.
Is it wrong for me to crave something like jealousy?
Or the bigger question.
Is it a clear sign that i've been with the wrong people?
That i've been conditioned to crave something so bad for me.
I want you to be afraid of losing me.
And the heartbreaking reality is that you aren't