Illusions unrequited love stories

shinzuhikoumi I'm an artist. I create. And I learn.
Autoplay OFF   •   a year ago
There's no one as undeserving as the one who tries to hold the love without the the intent to strive for it. By: ShinzuHikoumi


I met him again

As always, I was the one who had stepped up

And initiated it

Partly because I missed him

And partly because I wanted to remind

That what I was thinking was an illusion...again

He was cool with whatever I did though

It's how he has always been

He doesn't mind anyone, anything

Cool as cucumber

Too much; too distant

And it was maybe due this enigma

For the urge of shortening this distance

The desire to peek behind this facade

That I may have fallen for him

He wasn't anything special

Or so had I thought initially

Until I got the glimpse of the unexpected



And it thrummed my heartstrings like nothing before

I was drawn to him

I couldn't resist reaching out

Being the damn overcurious explorer I had always been

I poured my heart out

I shared my darkness

And it turned out

That he was more vivid

Than I could've ever imagined

Too colorful that it was overwhelming

And maybe a lil unhealthy...


Things went too well, too good

But only till you played according to his rules

He liked being the winner

He loved having the control

But without showing it so

Without acknowledging he could have needs too

He was beyond such things, after all


And I saw right through him

And beyond

He was like a fish

Fast and elegant inside the water

But the moment you pull it out

Out of his comforts

He broke

His panic showed through

And it was okay

As I had always admired vulnerabilities

It showed honesty

Which he wasn't

He hid it

He faked

He doesn't trust?

The one who couldn't trust anyone is not trustworthy himself

He pushed back the love 

The hand I had offered

To pull him out of the curtains

But it seemed liked his home

Where he belonged

He was not my light

He was a shadow

And it hurt when truth reveals itself

Different than what you had believed all along

And it hurt when you have to break the promise

To cherish through thick and thin

But you can't love something that never existed

You can't love an illusion


And it hurt when the next time your eyes meet his

Instead of the familiar wild throbbing

All you hear in your heart is...

Deafening silence

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