I stood there feeling so empty, and every breath felt like the first breath you take when you step out into the snow, icy and sharp.
There was so much I wanted to say as I could feel my heart breaking, but all I could manage to push past the lump in my throat was “I still love you.”
Love is not excitement, it is not breathlessness, it is not sex, it is not the desire to constantly talk to someone. That is being “in love.”
Love is what is left after you lose that breathlessness and desire. Love is how much you still feel after the being ‘in love’ has faded.
Love is not the promises, it’s why you’re still there when they’re broken.
Many people have stepped in and out of my life but he was the first person to take pieces of me when he left, and I couldn’t let go.
I came back, and when it didn’t work I blamed myself. I let my confidence and happiness shatter like glass hitting the floor.
I couldn’t wrap my head around the idea that maybe he was only ever ‘in love’ with me, maybe he never really loved me.
It took me time to realize that it wasn’t me who went wrong, and I don’t blame him. I gave everything I could have, but maybe it wasn’t meant to last.
Love is such an overused word, and because of this I believe we are beginning to let it’s real meaning slip past us. Love is a feeling that reaches the deepest parts of us.
Sometimes it doesn’t work and the ‘in love’ goes away, but that real love won’t ever die out.
I ask myself often if it was worth it, all the late night tears and pain, and I want to be angry and regret it, but I can’t.
One day we will find someone who’s fire for us burns forever, and it may not be the first person you light yourself up for, but that is just another story to add to the tapestry that is our life.
And that is worth it.