Purity vs. Narc
Purity vs. Narc narc stories

shante1000 A trapped soul looking for an outlet
Autoplay OFF   •   3 months ago
Should a narc be exposed? You want to help them, they don't want it, they want to hurt you.

Purity vs. Narc

I see you a familiar face I try to convince myself the reflection staring back at me is exactly the same beneath the surface

Someone I love, someone I aspire to be each day. Of late, I have experienced doubt seeping in.

I always stood for something good and pure. Warped thoughts have been plaguing my mind and I am tempted to act on them.

A willingness to tarnish my purity. Purity not representing perfection. Perfect I can never be, I am flawed I know. Only human.

My quest for true freedom has led to me trapping myself. An urge, a yearning to act on impulse, spurring myself to truly be free.

Reassurances galore reminding me everyone has a dark side. It does not define who you are. It's ok to let loose once in a while, in my case once.

I have a fear of guilt. I have never done anything that leaves me feeling guilty. Dark, taboo thoughts have always been a part of my mind.

Never anything to feel guilty about. The result of outside stimulus making me think deeper. I am not naive nor an innocent in any sense. Just a deep moral compass.

Vows taken seriously. Both to myself and up above. Faithful, loyal, but with a naughty streak to draw out people's fantasies. I study people, a lifelong habit.

No ill intention, just curiosity. Maybe it's age, maybe it's where I'm at. Maybe it's because I've been deceived and betrayed and discovered the lie I gave my commitment of forever to.

Still I cannot bring myself to commit the same betrayal. Why would this be? Is it just my moral compass or is it something more?

Do I need to apologise for my dark and naughty side? It's in my mind, I express it in writing, never in action, only with one person is action explored and experienced.

The one I allowed in. I made a mistake. Maturity, open-mindedness and independent thinking without influence is not something everyone has.

Or rather everyone does have it, but not everyone can express it due to conformity. The confines of societies standards and rules, controlling parents, controlling lovers...

Those who can't express their freedom, those who can't be strong enough to stand up for what is right, those who live with fear, they're envious of me.

They're envy causes them to act in spite against me. They want to force me to stoop to their level. I am strong, I do not. They are weak, they want to remain weak and confined. They don't want to be free.

My purity tells me don't expose them, keep on trying to help them, but they hurt me more when I want to help.

My strength says fight back, expose them for who they are. The familiar face in my reflection that wants to act on impulse and just be this person to stoop once and hurt them back.

Should I take the plunge? Should I expose them for using everyone around them for their own selfish gain or should I allow them to hurt me?

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