The moment I forced myself to believe I was ready to let you go, was when it also dawned on me that I had to see the little fragments of what we used to be slip away.
When I told you I was ready to set you free of the confinements of my reminiscences, I didn't realize that by doing so, I had to watch you walk away from me as well.
That by saying I was ready to make new memories meant erasing the ones I have of you.
Or at least tell myself to stop remembering them now that you're not mine to think about.
But it's hard the more I realize memories don't just die and grow the way the mid-autumn leaves do.
That they don't just bloom overnight and have the lucent ray of sunlight sprinkle its wonders to a new fresh, developed flower,
Waiting for someone to come down and pick at it.
Because as I wait, the petals I have grown for you still lay helplessly into your palms as you crash them with closed fists.
Only to open it up and blow, sending my love flying lost into the wind.
You took my innocence and the joys of what it felt like to feel important away from me - only just to wind up being plucked away, petal by petal, as you wither with the time spent with the person who you thought would care for you forever.
You didn't preserve me. You didn't stick around to make sure I still withhold my strength, to flourish and make sure I was still something worth holding onto.
You didn't even perceive the way my value withered as something still worth cherishing.
Like a dying rose still being kept in between the pages of an old classic, romance novel.
You took me out only to throw me right back in, to where you first found me.
Left me all alone to fend for myself.
As you scamper off your merry way to those fields of newly, bloomed white roses.
Seeing the crimson, red blood of the first flower you picked lose its color...
And then its life.
And even as I lie here, having no sense of purpose and just waiting for the next life to hand me down to someone new,
It still hurts realizing that the memories of my beauty were the only thing that mattered to you.