I love Joe Biden
I really do. I want to thank him for his friendship, his counsel, for always giving it to me straight and for not shooting anybody in the face.
I was running on ‘C-P-T'
Which stands for jokes white people should not make.
Some candidates aren’t polling high enough
to qualify for their own jokes tonight. (subtle jab at John Kasich haha)
I am a little hurt Trump's not here tonight.
We had so much fun last time. And it is a surprise. We’ve got a room full of reporters, celebrities, cameras and he says no. Is this dinner too tacky for the Donald?
Bernie, you look like a million bucks!
Or to put it in terms you’ll understand, you look like 37,000 donations of $27 each.