I knew you would find it quick in the kitchen because you are always on something to make me feel better.
I know I have been bad to you. But I am just scared, scared to live again, scared to trust again, scared to love again. No this is not your fault.
you are perfect.
I have been through a lot and I don't think it made me strong rather it made me frail.
No please don't feel sorry I don't want your sympathy because I know you will do anything to make me feel special again.
When you said that you love me I wanted to say it back but there was something holding me. It is making me weaker day by day and the more you love the more I feel, you deserve better.
You deserve better than me.
I am rotten I am not worthy enough to have such a precious thing like you. I want to hug you so tight and divulge how much I love you but I am scared to feel good again.
I am scared of uncertainties in my life. I don't want you to be a part of this mess.
There was a time when I used to cry like kids at night and wished for someone like you but now that you are here I am scared, I may lose you.
Of course, you won't leave me at any cost but… there is this thing inside me keeping me away from you for your own good.
When you cuddle I want to sleep like a kid in your arms but I kept awake because I am scared of the morning where I would wake up on the cold bed having no sign of you.
When you cook dinner, I want to hold you from behind but I am scared once I taste how good it is I may want you more, more than you would able to give me.
I wanted to leave you the time you said you love me because I wanted to save you from me.
I am no good to anyone I am not for you. You are a good guy but I don't think I can ever be worthy enough to be with you.
I am sorry but this has to end and I was scared to listen to this from you hence I am leaving.
Please don't blame yourself.
I am leaving you to save yourself from the guilt you may have because of not giving me much. I may need you more than you are willing to give. Thanks for everything, I am sorry. Yours, Nobody.
Hey, thank you so much for reading. I wrote this to highlight how the trauma of life could leave its mark on us if we kept brooding on it. The only way out is to give yourself one more chance to live again. Thanks again. Take care 😀