Learning to open up..
Learning to open up.. recovery stories
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ruthkamalayorke
ruthkamalayorke Community member
Autoplay OFF   •   9 months ago
The only person to every love me for exactly who i am. We spoke all night about the workings of our brains and theories of the universe. You saw something special in me you thought I was an angel who saved your life. you made me believe in myself believe i could make something of my life ♥️

Learning to open up..

The only person to ever love me for exactly who i am. We spoke all night about the workings of our brains and theories of the universe.

You saw something special in me you thought I was an angel who saved your life. you made me believe in myself believe i could make something of my life ♥️

We had our highs we had our lows but when I was with you it felt like home.

But my poor boy what had this world done to you.

Your nightmares keept you awake all night. and during the day you are driven totaly insane by the constant chattering of your brain.

You lie on the floor begging me to make it stop, to make the pain go away.

So I would hold you in my arms make you look into my eyes and tell you to 'focus on the light'. We held on like that for years for as long as we could.

But the world wouldnt stop and we had to keep up.

I couldnt always be by your side. Sometimes by the time I got home your deamons were already inside. You let them in. I hated you for being so weak.

They punched holes in the walls and scolded my body but I knew you would never let them break my heart.

I started to tip toe, try not to cause a scene. I lie awake at night paralised, breathing quietly, in fear of awakening your empty body and scared of the deamons you brought into my bed.

And I would pray that tomorrow would be another day that you would return and keep your deamons away.

This world is crazy and it spins soo fast but you were my stability. You needed me and so in you I found purpose and reason.

You were my world, you were all I had. I did my best to keep you clean and sane.

But it didnt work like that the days got harder, I was scared as I watched you fade.

I would hold you in my arms on the bathroom floor as your mouth twitched and your eyes rolled around inside head.

This goes on for months the ups and the downs. I missed seeing you. I would search your face for your soul, for a light behind the eyes, for my love, for someone I recognised.

Until one day Two outcasts from society alone in the rain. My earing lost and the bottles smashed. We hold eachother close. Your empty body and mine. And then..

I walk away, I chose myself and I chose life.

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