Chapter 3: Seven
Chapter 3: Seven humor stories
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rsmaertens
rsmaertens Community member
Autoplay OFF   •   a year ago
continuation of insanity

Chapter 3: Seven

“Let's start off with familiarization with each other.” The shrink chick said after her asshole counterpart tried for about twenty minutes of calling me Roxann got him either ignored or spit at.

“What would you prefer to be called?”

I keep my eyes on him, but answer her. “Seven. That's my name.” I stood, my shackles dragging making the asshole jump, but the chick just watched me. I don't think she like him either.

“ You're not fucking him are you?”

She snorted on a way that confirmed my thought on her feelings fortis man. “Not even in his dreams.”

“Real mature, Robbins.”

I give him a pouty look and rub my hands down the front of me. “Don't feel bad baby, she likes bigger dicks than that clitoris sized prick you're sporting”

All week they have been parading these cocky assholes in here and so far the chick is the one I like talking to. She keeps the conversation going.

Doesn't just say “nothing you said makes sense.” Or “please stops touching yourself.” Or “No! No! I'm sorry don't hurt me!”

The shackles pulled tight to where they were looped around the tether on the floor. “Don't worry, when she's choking down my dick, I’ll put in a good word.”

The guy grabbed the chicks arm and pulled her from the room and I laughed. “Bunnies only drink purple margarita’s, none of that gin shit.” I said to the shadows that were left in the room.

They didn't say much, but they kept me company. They told me things about people. Like when the devil was hiding in someone. They were useful. We're homies.

“If you use vodka you better be dressed for dinner or else they throw you out of the club.” I pointed at one of the silent figures. “You know what I'm talking about, Frank.”

The chick came back, her face was flushed like she was pissed, but her face read as triumphant. “He is a fag” I said reassuringly to her.

“but his father would beat him to know that, so he belittles his own son to make himself feel better.” I said without being asked. It seemed like something she should know.

She stared at me a second and blinked a few times before giving me a nod. “Where did you hear that?”

“Jerry told me.” I said matter of factly.

She nodded again. “Jerry a chatty guy?” She asked, taking out a notebook and pen. “What did he tell you?”

“Why am I here?” I said, not answering her. I did it for my own good. Jerry would be a whining bitch if I told her everything about him.

“Well, that's what one of my questions for you was going to be.” She said calmly. “The charges are that you broke into a police station to burn evidence.”

“The devil with the forked tongue was left to watch over us but instead talked and talked and talked and said that they would chain me to the fire pit again if I didn't listen.” I said quickly.

I can feel myself getting agitated. I hated that devil. I shiver thinking about his forked tongue licking my ear as he spoke his directions.

“So the devil told you to do it?” The chick stopped writing. “Come on, Seven. That wasn't even original.”

“Not the Devil. Satan doesn't have time for those kissed with second and third sight.” I snapped at her sinking to the floor. “A daemon, a devil in human skin.

He in the position of power and his tongue will shoot venom as he give orders and the decay slips into your mind and his power pushes your limbs!”

The chick was writing down what I said and it felt strangely validating that she bothered to even do that. I stared at her until she stopped writing and waited, staring back.

“You have birds in your name.” I observed, shaking my head. “Not noisy ones but sweet tweet ones.”

She blinked a few times and then light was behind her eyes. “Robbins.”

I nodded. “Robbins…Blue babies.” I smiled remembering something from our last conversation. “So, this is our second date, Birdy.”

Cocking her head to the side, she regarded me for a moment and smiled. “So, it is. Where are we going? Do you have a favorite place to go?”

I drop to my knees on the floor and make like I am setting up a picnic spread, handing invisible dishes to Birdy as I go. She’s being a good sport about it and taking them without a word.

She of course turns it into a brain picking session.

“So where are we picnicking, in your mind?” She asked innocently.

“At this little creek where I used to live in Alabama.” I said smiling at the fake memory. “There were bunnies and deer.” I sighed looking off fondly.

“It's where I killed the neighbors kid for trying to touch my tits without asking. Let that be a lesson to you Birdy…ask before touching.”

She started shifting through her papers in a nervous way that made me snort. “I don’t see that in your file…”

“It wouldn’t be.” I said, pretending to drink a glass of lemonade.”I was 13.”

Birdy gave a very satisfying gasp. That's how you know you got them, when they gasp like that. “Thirteen?”

I nodded, picking up my very large pretend sandwich and took an obnoxious bite, talking with my mouth full of pretend food.

“Yeah his dad usually said please but that punk had no fucking manners and just grabbed.” I shook my head. “You got to have manners, you know?”

The horrified look on her face told me that she was processing this new information and probably adding it to the list of reasons I am the way I am. “Don't feel bad for me.”

“No, a woman had the right to defend herself, but you should have told—“

“Who? My daddy?” I snapped smiling in a way that I knew disturbed most people.

“You know that I lived in the back waters of Alabama, do I need to spell out what that means for 90% of us” I snorted at her expression and shook my head.

He wasn’t my brother/dad, but he wasn’t innocent either.”

“You know, I could still bring charges up on—“

I started laughing. Who would she charge? All of the southern Alabama? She just stared at me and I figured it was time to tell her. I smirked and shook my head. “You can’t do that.”

She looked like someone threw an ice bucket on her fire of righteousness. “Why?”

“Because it’s a bullshit story, Birdy.” She looked at me unblinking. “It’s as real as that glass of lemonade you’ve been drinking.”

She looked at her hand, still pretend holding the cup and dropped it, glaring at me. “That’s not funny.”

“You’re not sitting where I am. From here it’s pretty funny.” I smirked and winked at her. “Just wait and see how our third date will go. I might even bring you some pretend flowers.

” I laughed hard. “So don’t forget your pretend condoms.”

I watched Birdy gather her things in silence and I frowned. “Aww Birdy, don’t be like that.”

She gave me one last look before heading to the door.

“Oh come on Birdy, I’ll give second date head….”

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