I thought I could take this burning in my chest, I thought I could light it up and make it anger, I thought I could be fierce instead of sad and in love.
When you spoke on the phone about the stars I knew I loved you, there was this softness in your voice but you never used that tone to talk about me.
I though you were it, my someone special, my someone. I was wrong, maybe your someone else was more important, prettier, well put together, someone your mother liked.
I’ve always been not enough, or too much. Too excitable, too different, too sad, too tough, too breakable, too ready to dance in the rain and too ready to cry in the sun.
But somehow, to you, I was not enough and too much all at once.
But to me you were everything, tell me one thing I didn’t do for you, tell me one moment that I didn’t give you all the love my heart had.
I’m tired of being second best and I’m tired of my heart breaking. I’m so tired of this pain in my chest I want to fall into a sleep I don’t have to wake up from.
I’m tired of waking up, cold and unloved.