I found out something that changed my life.
Something that will never make me the same again.
Something that I've always lived with, but never known.
I haven't even begun to fathom the depth of this.
And I may never.
The only thing I can do now is to take a step back.
A step that allows me to observe these last few months.
To see all the things that led me to discover this fact about myself.
This, this thing keeps me up at night and keeps me from things I usually love to do.
I step back and am greeted by my bed.
The one place that I can let go in.
I curl up and look out my window.
I see a girl walking on the street.
One similar to me, well the old me.
The me that thought nothing could ever go wrong.
The me that was constantly happy and never had a doubt in the world.
The me that isn't me anymore.
She's gone and I lay here wishing she'd come back.
Wishing I'd have a chance to tell her to stay strong and never doubt yourself.
I'm too late and I'm just living in the past.
Nothing will ever be the same.
I will never be the same.
I'm suddenly in the halls at my school.
How much time has passed since that night?
People rush by me in slow motion.
I'm falling, but no one sees.
No one bothers to see.
I call out and no one's there.
The halls are empty, but I hear a voice calling.
She calls my name and I run to her.
She's at the end of the hallway and her arms are out stretched.
I run and embrace her like my life depends on it.
"Stay strong," she whispers.
She's like me.
She knows what I'm going through and she's been through it too.
I can finally fight this daily battle with someone by my side.
I'll never be the same.
For worse or for better, you might ask.
Well, you'll just have to find out.