I do not understand money
Growing up, my mother would always give me X amount of money when I went to school
I would always take that money and spend it on food for myself and my friends
I was about 6 at the time
Over and over, she would tell me to take care of the money and not spend it all in one day.
But mom! a six-year old has no concept of time the way an adult does.
Of course I wanted to learn how to manage my money, but I had no idea what she was talking about
To save money you need to have a solid grasp of what "the future" means and what money is for and WHERE it comes from
Every time I spent my money she would just give me more.
I am 34 years old today
There is a lot is DEEPLY understand
But I can not grasp the concept of money
I have purposely kept myself from making any money because I do not know how to manage it properly
Whenever I get money, I spend it almost instantly and then I spend some more.
For the past 14 years, I have been struggling immensely, trying to understand what money is and I still don't get it
Why am I telling you this?
Parents, especially mothers are hardwired to keep you from any type of harm.
If you know you are being overprotected and you do not take every measure to leave the situation...
You will end up crippled by it.
And when I say crippled what I am trying to say is:
Life can get so ROUGH that not even killing yourself would solve the problem
You can, and you probably will at some point, find yourself in an actual Hell.
You think religion invented those things to scare people and control them with fear?
Of course, they are trying to traumatize you and control you with fear, but that's because hell is a real place on earth where people end up
Let me see if I can tie the story and have it make some sense for you.
Yes, it was my parents responsibility to be more strict on me or teach me certain things.
H O W E V E R
and I am not just saying this...
The entire thing was 100% my fault.
As a kid, even if only mildly aware of it, I knew how to manipulate both my parents.
There were times when I found myself in DEEP shit. When it seemed that my life was over, that I thought:
They should have made me tougher!
They should have let me fail more often!
But the truth is that at 4 years of age I was already deciding for myself what appropriate punishment was
Think about that
At the age of 4, my parents would say: "No Nintendo"
Then they would leave the house to go to work and I would think about the punishment and say to myself:
Well, that makes no sense... The right way to punish me would have been X and not Y
At a very early age I was judging my mother and father parenting techniques and going: "That's not good."
And for the rest of my life I became this person who could not be convinced or forced to do ANYTHING
No beating ever worked, talking had no effect either.
My parents did not know how to influence me
My parents did not really understand how to make me stronger or accountable
What does this have to do with Commaful, Gingerbread houses, witches, and games?
You want to stop suffering and feeling worthless and completely dependent on others opinions
One way to do that is by understanding your environment
Your environment is not nature, the park, the house the buildings and the cities
Your environment is all of the PEOPLE that you surround yourself with
The reason why 99% of the people at Commaful are either struggling, insecure, anxious or depressed is because:
You fundamentally do not understand human nature
You think that MOST people are good.
Most people are too SCARED of doing something bad
The only people who are good are those who can actually harm you and decide not to.
To be GOOD you have to be physically dangerous
Being scared of harming others is NOT a virtue.
Most of you look at Commaful and think: "This place is TOO good to be true!"
A person who is mature would have immediately guarded themselves
Because the Gingerbread house from Hantzel and Gretel was ALSO "Too Good to be true."
EVERY single time...EVERY single time when you see a place that seems: "Too good to be true"
You'll find that there is a "witch" inside of the house who will fatten you up, make you soft and EAT you.
It's interesting to realize how mainstream opinion about old school fairy tales is that they were barbaric stories that traumatized children
That the "Old Testament" is made up of a terrible God and so on and so forth.
But what I understand today, without a shred of a doubt, is that the reason those stories survive thousands of thousands of years
Is because they portray and represents the archetypical GAMES that human beings are playing at.
One such archetype is the Gingerbread House
The reason why a Book such as the Bible is the biggest and most incredibly unique work of art to be ever be conceived is because:
ALL of those stories had been passed down ORALLY for THOUSANDS of years.
Humans beings all understood the value of those stories and so they kept telling them.
They told them because those stories explained the way that life works.
And then one day, a group of people decided to write them down and to package them into a coherent theme
The stories in the bible are the distilled and collective creation of THOUSANDS of years of human experiences
You think Wikipedia is a and amazing example of crowdsourcing work?
The stories in the Bible are the biggest and most incredible crowdsourced material to ever be made.
Why am I saying all this?
Why don't I just point at the "Witch" and say to everyone: Look! there is a witch!
tbh, I have tried.
I have used everything in my arsenal, my entire reputation, to tell some of you that plenty of people here are trying to devour you.
Sadly, some people WANT to be devoured. Some people are so blind and so HUNGRY for attention
That they will willingly enter the Gingerbread house, greet the witch that dwells inside, lock themselves in a cage (of COMPLIMENTS... ^^)
and let themselves get fat and FAT on lies and empty calories.
and soon after you will all be left with no character to deal with the real world.
You will scream and demand for your spaces to be "safe"
So, whenever I see the game of Hantzel & Gretel and the Witch being played out in Commaful, OR as I prepare to call it:
Where young girls naively make themselves vulnerable, ignoring the things that lurk in the shadows...
Whenever I see that and I know how it ends
I think to myself...
Thank God I found a way to turn myself into a monster
Because if I was not a Monster I would not be able to live in a world like this.
I would not be able to simply stand there and watch as people cannibalize themselves
And you don't need to know what I know to realize I am right...
All you need to do is pay attention and realize that the reason you feel week and needy is because of your own actions.
Lies weaken you
Don't wait for anyone to approach you and say: "Watch out for that person"