"You don't HAVE to do anything" - Day 04











"You don't HAVE to do anything" - Day 04 poison stories
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rosarlei
rosarleicommafultips.com 👊
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Don't drink the poison
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How to be emotionally independent?
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"You don't HAVE to do anything" - Day 04

This is an interesting topic for me, and one which I got asked about recently:

"As I read your post and I like the way you describe things so bluntly without feeling any grudge and sorry stuff. I wish to see myself as a person who is ready to tackle her Fear without being panicked all the time. In short, I want myself to be emotionally independent."

How to be emotionally independent​?

I'll answer that with another question:

Why do you want to be emotionally independent?

What do you mean by emotionally independent?

Are you afraid of relationships or are you looking forward to them?

What I mean is:

You need to be clear with yourself about "where" you are right now.

Are you on the Defensive? Hoping that things might go better, wishing for the world to change or get less scary?

Because that is really what's behind that question

At first glance, it seems like a reasonable and fair thing to wish for.

We don't want all the pain and confusion that comes with co-dependency

But what if I told you:

Asking life to water itself down so that you can feel less afraid is the most unreasonable, unfair, pretentious and entitled thing you can ask for.

Let me say that again...

Asking life to water itself down

Asking life to water itself down so that you can feel less afraid

Asking life to water itself down so that you can feel less afraid is the most unreasonable,

Asking life to water itself down so that you can feel less afraid is the most unreasonable, unfair, pretentious and

Asking life to water itself down so that you can feel less afraid is the most unreasonable, unfair, pretentious and entitled thing you can ask for.

Think about it:

You are asking the WHOLE of life to be what it is never been so that you can feel less afraid...

Now let me stop you before you go and start feeling shame and guilt and all those unnecessary emotions

You are RIGHT when you demand life to bend to your will or to heed to your message.

But you are asking for the wrong thing.

The right thing to ask for is:

The right thing to ask for is: c o u r a g e

The right attitude is to admit the fault is with you, and not the rest of life.

The responsible and mature thing to do is to: 1. Admit you got no clue what the hell you are doing.

The responsible and mature thing to do is to: 1. Ask for the courage to do the RIGHT thing.

and do that.

Maybe it's cleaning your room, or paying a bill or calling your father or letting your mother know how much you love her

It doesn't matter if you call yourself spiritual, or religious or agnostic or anything.

There is nothing idealistic or woohsy washy about the things I am telling you.

When I do not know what I am supposed to do next I admit it and then I ask.

not ONCE has it not worked

This is the aspect of faith that all religions talk about

What kind of things should you be asking for?

I would personally figure out what kind of actions I can take to improve and speed up the communication with that inner wisdom.

Because every time it works, my faith and trust in the world i n c r e a s e s

Let me tell you something VERY personal here:

After I walked away from my last relationship, a series of truly awful events took place one week after.

For the first two weeks I was bursting into uncontrollable crying 10 to 12 times a day

I would be fine and the next second I would be on my knees

My body was trying to scream and cry the pain away

It's the kind of insanity that a person can through when they realize how helpless they are when it comes to saving someone they love

This lasted for about six months, but was most intense during the first 2-4 weeks.

That is known as PTSD

Lucky for me, I was already the kind of person that knew that all I needed to do was rebuild and dump UNGODLY amounts of self-love​ on myself

I was not concerned about the pain going away or about not even being able to be in a relationship again.

In fact, all I could think about was her father. If I got hurt this way I did not dare imagine what he would experience if he knew 1/10 of what I knew.

Your life is not yours to fuck

You are out there screaming at the evil "men" who want to hurt you, while you abuse your own mind and body on a daily basis.

When someone hurts you, we want to hunt and kill that person.

But when you do it to yourself we feel sorry and guilt but not once do we feel angry and contempt for you

That would take a monster and no one wants to be the monster.

Even though I reached the point where I literally had to call my mother, and say that I need to go back home for a week because I could not be alone...

Even though I had never been so thoroughly broken in my entire life...

There was something in me which I had gotten at the age of 28 that never left me

That is the thing you want

You do not want life to water itself down for you, you want to EARN the right to have unshakeable faith and trust in the world.

But you have to EARN it and you have to pay the price for it.

And once you get it, it can not be easily taken away from you

Even if I didn't feel the faith or the love, I KNEW it was there either way​.

You can NOT afford to not have this with you.

Because if you do not have the faith and the courage to live the life you want to have, you will become weak and resentful and you will turn suffering into hell.

Even in that place I still exuded the strength that told others that I would be fine.

That did not keep my mother from being heartbroken though

But she knew I was going to take care of it and be out as soon as I possibly could

But being weak...

It's even worse than that, because you will lash out onto others and yourself.

It is not life that you should be scared of, but the monster that is nurtured by resentment

You MUST break through the illusion that those who commit mass murders and rape and kill little kids are a different species.

You HAVE that in you. The fact you are not aware of it, is what makes you so dangerous.

Those who are controlled by fear are the ones who can be manipulated by Ill intended people and or become them.

All say it again:

It is pretentious and crazy to expect the world to change itself so that you can become even less strong and more resentful to the point that you turn against life itself.

How is that for a different perspective on life?

Thank you very much for reading today's story.

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