Nobody asked: "How do I know if I was traumatized by an event?"
The most important thing that I learned about trauma happened 2 years ago.
I learned that when we experience hard trauma, our brain has to physically re arrange itself...
One common cause for trauma aside from being physically abused, is:
When Faust wrote Dante's Inferno, he reserved the 9th and last circle of hell for those that commit treachery.
Why is betrayal such a big deal?
Human beings are infinitely complex things, just like everything else in life.
When you decide to trust someone, and supposing that you are not overly trusting or being naive,
What is happening is that this person goes from being something "chaotic" and infinitely complex;
To being something much more simpler that you can deal with.
The deal when you enter a relationship is: "I won't act outside of the limits we agreed upon."
But...when you get betrayed...
Note: we don't have the space here to talk about personal respon- sibility or naivity in entering a relationship. We'll do that in a different piece.
We want to deal with the immediate events after a betrayal. The time to assess how responsible we were at causing the betrayal comes in a different piece.
But...when you get betrayed... The future that you had with that person suddenly vanishes.
But also the present, because that person is no longer there
And lastly, your past. Because: You will ask yourself: "Who is this person that I thought I knew ??"
And your self confidence is destroyed, because you'll ask: "Am I just stupid?"
"Can I even be trusted with my own life?"
This means that you are suddenly plunged from "Order" straight into the deepest "Chaos"
And now what do you do?
The next piece will be centered about denial. Denial is the stage in which we refuse to let ourselves fall into that chaos, but which can not be avoided.
We'll talk about how to get to the point where you can make the choice to look at what really is happening and face up to the chaos that awaits.
So, what do you think? Leave me your comments, questions, complaints and suggestions so that I can make stuff you actually care about.
Have a great day! and don't forget to tip!