Are you upset by the fact that your parents don't really get you?
Does it hurt like hell?
Then this might be for you
What I am about to share with you is something I have not read or encountered anywhere else.
It is not a trick, or a hack.
It requires a change in perspective; a new point of view from which to look at your own life.
But this one "simple" thing will change your life forever.
I would never say anything that bold, unless I meant it.
I am always interested in separating the cause of a problem from it's symptoms.
Most of our society is dedicated to eliminating symptoms, instead of treating the actual problem.
For example: If a person is affected by the amount of likes or views that their content is getting, they might engage in tactics to increase those numbers.
I know of someone who buys likes for his selfies on IG.
And before you go feeling all mighty because you don't buy likes for your selfies because you never actually take a selfie...
I can assure that pretty much everyone (myself included) has engaged in a form of dirty and dishonest trick to get more likes.
So, a person is not getting enough likes and they go and engage in some less than honest tactics.
When in reality, their content may not be good enough, or their timing is off, or they have their self-esteem wrapped around a digital counter.
Today I want to share with you the ONE believe that is causing EVERY single problem that you have with your parents.
And I mean:
And I mean: E V E R Y
And I mean: E V E R Y S I N G L E
And I mean: E V E R Y S I N G L E O N E
Now, let me warn you before you go ahead and follow my advice to the letter.
If you do this correctly and create this change for yourself, you might bump into another BIGGER problem.
The fact that you won't have anything to bitch or to complain about to your friends.
I know it is comical but I am actually being serious here.
I believe that the reason we spend so much time and effort dealing with symptoms instead of the root problem, has nothing to do with being dumb or lazy.
The reason why we don't deal with the root of the problem is because:
T h r u t h
T h r u t h h u r t s
The truth is often traumatic. The most sensible thing to do is to avoid it for as LONG as you can.
Now that I think about it... Why shouldn't you avoid the truth?
After all, if you solve a problem you simply get new ones, so why not let the ones you have simply sit down there and fester?
You are going to die eventually, and wouldn't it be better to keep the problems you know instead of attracting a whole set of unknown problems?
That is a sensible, and really smart question, Patricia.
Here I was, about to spill to you the ULTIMATE truth about parents ... and then I realized that this will kill ALL your drama and leave you with nothing to write
shit...I almost fucked that one up, didn't I? 0.o
it seems then, that a more interesting question would be: Why should I constantly strive to solve problems and not let them fester?
It's akin to facing your fears and growing. Why should you?
Because the truth about your parents which I wanted to give you, would indeed solve almost every problem you have now...
...but it will also create a vacuum and open the gate for bigger problems against which you will not be ready...
I did not plan this at all... I was actually super excited about sharing this ultra insight with you, and now I will have to completely disappoint you.
instead of giving you answer...
let me give you the map, and the compass so that you can go find it yourself.
It's not like you have anything better to do, anyway, right?
I am going to interject these GIF's in order to pace the story and bit and give you a chance to breath and take a break
When you see this cat, it means:
When you see this cat, it means: b r e a t h
For those of you who were expecting a packaged insight today, I am sorry, but I changed my mind half way through.
For those of you who are excited about finding out the answer for yourself, even if it takes you 20 years, stay with me. I will not disappoint you.
hmmmm I lost my train of thought...right, so the question is:
Why solve a problem if it will just give you new ones.
There is a positive and a negative answer to it and both are necessary.
What I mean is that there is a fear-based reason for why you should face your problems head on.
And the is a love-based reason for it as well.
Once we figure out the fear-based reason, we will set it up behind us to keep us motivated and assist our perspective on life.
The love-based reason is the one we place ahead of ourselves. It becomes the thing to strive towards and to dream about making a reality.
The trick is to learn how to operate and flow between the fear behind you and the love ahead of you.
When a person is feeling anxious, it is because the fear is in front of them blocking their path, and the love is behind them, forgotten in a corner.
Cool insight, right?
Let's change the tone a bit and talk about the fear-based motivation you need to install in yourself.
If you are a teenager, or in your early 20's, you have almost no idea of what the real world is actually like.
It's ok, because neither do I
As a 34 year old who lives by himself in a foreign country (since 9 years) and comes from one of the most dangerous cities in the world,
As a waiter, barman who lives inside of a culture that penalizes every single one of my virtues and strength on a daily basis since 9 years...
As a guy at the bottom of the hierarchy who shares a flat with three people, my self confidence is through the roof and I am extremely optimistic and patient.
However, I have been hit hard enough to know that I am extremely SOFT...
In fact, every day I am looking for ways in which to become stronger, more humble, less entitled...because I know...
I know that when life goes to hell, the economy collapses, my parents suddenly die, I get cancer...or wtv it is... I know how hard life can hit when are in the "real" world.
And I am traumatized, through and through by past events, so much so, that this is something I think about
ALL THE TIME.
Why am I telling you this? Because the only reason you can let your problems fester is because there is a society, which is acting as a safety net and keeping you alive and safe.
The only reason that you do not experience the negative effects of running away from your problems is because society , your family etc... are filtering the real world.
Do you want to know exactly how much you own to society and how much more you need to be afraid that it might collapse?
Go watch the nature channel.
The real world, is the nature channel. Now I ask you, how long would you survive out there in the real nature?
However you do it, it is imperative that you get your perspective in check, because that is the real reason why you are feeling miserable.
We are almost there, you are doing REALL well and I am very proud of you.
What I am always trying to do is make sure I have my perspective set up correctly.
The difference between feeling a deep sense of gratitude and feeling that the world is awful, all comes down to perspective.
To get the things you want, you need to master the skill of setting up your own perspective.
Otherwise, people will force their pessimistic perspective on you, and when "judgment" day comes, you will have one to blame for that.
Practical steps to changing your perspective:
You need to imagine the extremes scenarios. In order to know where you are standing on the scale of gray, you need to know where the black and the white.
Read history books, watch movies, wtv you do, try to expand your perspectives until you feel that your appreciation for life is growing.
For me personally a single complain that crosses my mind is a red alert.
I know it might seem extreme, but this is a personal choice.
I do it because in order to achieve the things I want, I need extreme perspectives.
Find out what works for you. I realized that every choice I make is fueled by the desire of not having more than ONE single regret in my life.
it's just the way I work. You work differently, and your job is to figure out what works for you.
Since you stayed this long... I changed my mind again... I will share with you the insight about parents that I denied at the beginning...
Your parents were not designed to understand you,
Your parents were not designed to support you, give you self confidence or ANYTHING
The moment your mom squeezed you out, that is as far as her job should come.
Everything else that many parents do, which is to give us shelter, cloths, food education etc...
IS NOT A RIGHT
You and I do not deserve anything from our parents. They are just people...
They don't know who they are, they are insecure, they most likely love you so much that they have not slept for 16 or 20 years...
and you and I...we still have the monumental balls to expect that they "get" us.
The reason we have so many issues with our parents is because we are entitled and absolutely delusional.
Think about it: would you expect anyone except your parents to give you shelter, love, cloths, understanding, encouragement etc... which we take for granted?
We have been raised to believe that just because they gave birth to us, we deserve their unconditional love and understanding.
That is entitlement. And those expectations are the reasons why you have so many problems with your parents.
I have A GREAT relationship with my parents and, in my own way I am guilty of every single thing that I just told you.
Your parents will NEVER EVER get you.
Why on earth should they?? You don't get yourself, they don't get themselves either...
Stop complaining that they don't get you and start trying to repay them for everything that they have given you.
If you can find a way to do this, most of your problems will vanish.
I hope you enjoyed this very weird episode
And maybe try and don't take your parents smooching for granted :P